Best Pickup Ever: PUT YOUR NUMBER IN MY PHONE

The interwebs brought me this hilarious video of these walking up to random girls and telling them “Put your number in my phone”. They have a pretty big success rate… only 25% of the girls said no or said they had a boyfriend! I wonder how many numbers were fake.  Pretty awesome! LA ladies are lucky I am in a committed relationship lol or they would be feeling very awkward.

Dating is Sales

The correlation between dating and sales is unmistakable. Many steps in both processes are an exact match for one another. Below I am going to compare how the dating and sales processes work and also analyze my own current performance. Hopefully you will be able to gain some takeaways for your own life.

Step Sales Dating Joel
Research What am I selling and who is my customer? Determine focus. What type of person do I want to date? Find the qualities that you are compatible with. Beautiful, intelligent females with personality near my age group.
Targeting Where is my customers and how can I reach them? Where and how will I meet the person I want? Best way is through friends and social events; bars rarely work well.
Introduction How do I get in front of my potential customer? Get them to listen to you with an open mind. Initially approaching women or men is hard. Overcome fear the fear of rejection. Fearlessness & confidence are the key. Gain them through practice.
Qualification What value do I offer to my potential customer? Why is my product/ service good for them? Bragging fails, but you need to somehow convey your best traits. I have the most difficulty here because I am naturally laid back. Need to show off a bit.
Proposal Get their contact information and plan a time to give a formal proposal. Obtain phone number or another future contact method. High rate of success by the time I reach this stage.
Negotiation Process of talking on the phone or meeting in person to determine details. Calling or texting in order to engage and plan initial date. Maybe too much dawdling on my part during the inital phone call.
Closing Coming to an agreement to move forward Passing the first few dates My specialty. I am a very entertaining person.
Transaction Cash in the bank, contract in hand. Solidified emotional connection. Usually fairly successful.
Retention Keep client through the years? Long term relationships? I get bored or annoyed often.

I am sure if you think about it you will come up with even more correlations between dating and sales than I have here. ‚ Do you have any ideas you would like to add?

Joel’s New Agent

Samianianianian Talent Agent
Samianianianian Talent Agent

World-class talent needs proper representation. As an up and coming superstar, I have hired myself an agent from Samanianianian Talent Agency named Cynthia. No longer will I need to grovel with the common herd of humanity in order to accomplish my goals. Instead, Cynthia will take care of the dirty details and my hands will remain immaculately perfect.‚  From now on, when I go out and see a woman I might potentially be interested in, I’ll send my talent agent to do some recon and find out the real story.‚  No more listening to blonde blowhards drone on and on about themselves.‚  My talent agent will also be responsible for fielding calls from phone numbers I do not recognize to make sure its not someone I don’t want to talk to.‚  She will also handle scheduling dates by using the following script:

Cynthia: “Hi, I’m Cynthia and I’m Joel’s agent.‚  He wants you to join him for dinner tonight at Quinn’s on Capitol Hill.

Random Girl: “Woooohoooo!‚  I’ve just hit the Man-Lotto!

Cynthia: “Shall I schedule the dinner for 8 pm?”

Random Girl: “Yes, I’ll be there!”

Just substitute whatever activity for dinner @ Quinn’s and different superlatives from different random girls and this should work in any situation.

All of my friends, family and acquaintances should now go through my agent when contacting me.‚  I am a busy, busy man.

Aggressive Networking

Friday night I walked into Ballroom in Fremont at 9 pm with Nick & Brian.‚  We were there early so we wouldn’t have to pay cover and could eat some food.‚  We were all hungry after playing two hours of basketball earlier and Brian had claimed that the pizza at the Ballroom was very good… but Brian also greatly enjoys KFC, so Nick and I had some serious doubts.

Looking around, we discovered that Ballroom was already pretty full and all of the tables were taken.‚  Brian suggested that we sit on a bench in the back and order our food, but I had a better idea.‚  Join a half full table.

Two pretty girls had one of the tall, horse-shoe shaped tables to themselves.‚  I pointed them out to Brian and Nick, but Brian was feeling shy and was opposed to the idea.‚  Nick thought it was funny and encouraged me. I went.

Aggressive networking is something that I am really starting to believe in.‚  I base it upon the idea that I realistically have nothing to lose and everything to gain by trying to make more friends wherever I go.‚  The concept of aggressive networking actually applies to both women and men, and it works in business situations as well as dating situations. Already I have met many interesting new people at startup events and am starting to reap the dividends from being ballsy.

Nerves used to be a problem for me when meeting new people, but I have done it enough now that I only had a slight twinge of excitement when I walked up to the two girls table.‚  “My friends and I would like to order food but all of the other tables are taken; would you mind if we join you?”

The ladies chimed, “Sure! Sit down!” with big smiles so I grabbed Nick and Brian and we crowded into the booth.

“My name’s Joel.”

“I’m Ari.”

“I’m Kelsey. How are you?”

For me, the initial engagement is the hardest part and once I have started a conversation I can carry it and keep it entertaining as long as I wish.‚  The five of us sat and ate the actually pretty good pizza and drank wine for the next two and a half hours.‚  The girls were there for a friends birthday, so we also got introduced to a bunch of other babies.

A little bit of courage and aggressive engagement brought me several new friends and made my night much more fun than it otherwise would have been.‚  Before I left, I made sure to get Ari’s number- she is a very pretty, petite brunette.‚  I called her last night and we chatted for about an hour and she wants to meet up again this weekend if I don’t go to LA.

If everyone aggressively engaged those around them, the world would be a much better place.‚  More friends, more dates, more business contacts leading to a tighter knit society.

Bitterness

Losing is hard.‚  How you carry yourself after a loss shows an awful lot about your character.‚  Do you take it like a man or do you not acknowledge it? Do you put it behind you or do you let it fester in your heart?‚  Do you try to learn from what happened or do you throw it in everyone’s face?

A story recently worked its way back around to me about someone who was unable to walk again after losing in the dating game and crawled into the gutter of bitterness.

He had been interested in a pretty woman, but either she didn’t share his feelings or he wasn’t aggressive enough and so she actually asked him to set her up with someone else who caught her fancy.‚  After he refused, she figured out a different path to her goal. It’s tough to lose when it involves your heart.‚  I feel for the man- I’ve been there myself and it can feel like you got kicked in the balls.

The reaction you make in a situation like this shows your true colors.‚  A man would stand back up, brush himself and his bruised ego off and march on to the next battle.

Not gonna happen in this story- I told you earlier this story is about rotten eggs and foul feelings.

The woman and her new beau see the man at a party.‚  Does he go shake the guy’s hand (actually one of his friends)?‚  Nah… why do that when you can corner the woman alone and make a speech to her?

He looked at her seriously and said:

“I’m really happy for you and your new guy… really.‚  I did think it was obnoxious though that you wanted me to set you up with him, since I was into you.”

“I really doubt that you’ll ever “get” him though.‚  I mean he is just a more attractive version of me, and while you are attractive, I’m sure he’ll get bored after a few months.‚  He wants someone with more bang upstairs.”

She looked at him in shock and said, “You think I’m just a pretty face and not smart enough for him?”

“Yes, the same reason I wouldn’t want to be with you.”

Oh bitter grapes.‚  So angry, so small and so tasteless.