The Grinch Returns

Every year I dread Christmas.

Why?

Mandatory gift giving. I absolutely hate being forced to give gifts people don’t like or pretending to be happy about receiving gifts that I don’t really want or need.

Don’t get me wrong: Christmas is one of my favorite holidays.  I love the food, trees, decorations, spirit, and even the music.  It’s just that giving gifts is such an inefficient waste.  Money that would be better spent paying down credit card debt, caring for your children, investing in new businesses or just buying yourself something you really want is instead blown on useless crap.

Yes, useless crap.  Someone probably considers wool underwear vital, but I don’t.  Many of these items might be very useful to someone else or to the giver, but rarely does the receiver really want or need the gift he gets.

I should also make an important distinction: I approve of non-required gift giving, I just hate being forced by society to buy gifts for others or have them feel forced to buy me gifts.

Top useless gifts I have received:

  • Bath robe.
  • Salsa. I got this every year till I was 14 and asked people to stop.
  • Video game cartridge for console I didn’t own. I then thought I would receive the console later and was heartbroken when it didn’t materialize.
  • Beef jerky. I still get this from multiple people every year.
  • Clothes. Nothing in the last 6 years has fit.  Not once.

I am sure you could easily come up with your own list of goods you received but did not want or need.  So why do Americans waste such enormous amounts of money?  Because we feel bad and the person who receives gifts but does not give them looks like the Grinch.

Will I give Christmas gifts this year?

Yes.

WHAT?!!??!! Are you a hypocrite? Why did you write this whole post?”, you ask.

Every person who gives me a gift this year is going to receive a tire pressure gauge from me along with a note that reads:

Dear Gift Giver,

Due to your erroneous, but kind, decision to give me a gift I must now return the favor.  Unfortunately for you, I am morally opposed to mandatory gift giving.  So instead of a fruitcake you would throw away or a shirt that doesn’t fit you, I am going to give you a useful item: a tire pressure gauge.  It could one day save your life.

If you don’t own a car, I have a special Christmas message for you:

Burn in hell, hippy.”

Cop Killer May Be Blocks Away

A man killed 4 Lakewood cops yesterday and apparently tried to hide out at his house in Leschi afterwards, just a few blocks away from Taras house. Police surrounded the house and raided it, but the killer wasn’t there. They are currently searching the surrounding area.

Frida (taras dog) and I are hiding out under the bed covers lol.

Olympia Police Lay Down the Law

Tara and I were walking around downtown Olympia when we saw two blue uniformed police officers walking towards us. The black cop stopped me and asked, “How tall are you?”

“6’6”

“Sir, would you mind dating a girl who is just a bit taller? It’s not fair to the rest of us!”

National Debt Situation

A while back I did several posts on the national debt situation in America.  I haven’t done any since, not because the problem was resolved but because the problem only has gotten much worse.

America is like a foolish 18 year old girl who loves MySpace and her dog, but doesn’t understand the concepts of fiscal responsibility or basic debt management. We buy tons of new clothes, shoes & trips (Medicare, Social Security, national health insurance, wars in iraq & afghanistan, foreign aid to other countries, huge bureacracy, etc) but neglect to pay our credit card off each month.  Instead, we carry the balance over and get even more in debt.

Unfortunately America, unlike the 18 year old girl, has no daddy to rely on to pay off her foolish purchases.  America instead is relying on future generations to foot the big bill.

The eventual collapse may be coming sooner than we think… when interest rates rise again from their artificially low current rate, our debt payments necessary will balloon.  At some point, people will stop extending our country credit and our economy will plunge into chaos.

Cheery future.

Big Man, Little Car: Riding in a Scion

I am staying with my girlfriend Tara in Seattle and driving her car from place to place. Unfortunately I am significantly too big for this car: my head almost pokes up through the sun roof and even with the seat all the way back my knees touch the dash.

The Scion is a damned clown car.

7 Complaints About the World

7 funny complaints about the world in general:

  1. The majority of the global population believes in creationism, which would be hilarious if it wasn’t so scary.
  2. Sex, one of the greatest pleasures ever, brings the risk of little creatures nesting in your pubes and feasting on your privates.
  3. We spend years and years working under incompetent idiot bosses who have no lives outside of work until our souls are broken and we finally become what we hated.
  4. Communism was defeated in other countries after much misery to billions of people, but now we are bringing it to America.
  5. Marriage, a fine institution meant to glorify love and cement loyalty, often is just an excuse to put on 30 pounds, be lazy, and stop having sex.
  6. Fat people. When your only non-motorized form of transport is waddling, you need to be put in a hard labor camp.
  7. Hair. People spend far more time cutting, combing, gelling, spraying, flattening, curling, fluffing, picking, brushing, plucking, and shaving hair then is spent attempting to cure cancer, AIDs, and heart disease combined.

Seattle Traffic Worse than LA

As a fresh LA transplant, I have discovered Seattles traffic is much worse than the traffic in LA. Los Angeles is just a much larger city so it still takes longer to get somewhere. But to travel 2 miles through Seattle takes two or three times as long as travelling 2 miles in LA does.

Crazy Kite Surfer Jumps Pier- Video

Check out the crazy video below of a kite surfer jumping a pier. Looks incredibly dangerous, but kind of makes me want to take up the sport. Look how high he goes!

Las Vegas for New Years Eve!

A large group of my friends and I are going to Las Vegas for New Years Eve. We will be staying at the Sahara on December 31st and January 1st. Las Vegas is a somewhat creepy city- basically a giant garish bar- but that is exactly why it will be a super fun place to be on New Years Eve.

Currently, the group includes Trent, levi, levis brother, Kenny, and I. Others (nick, brian, Kenny, JJ) are thinking of joining us.