How Can We Make Marriage Last

My thoughts on how my wife Laurel and I can make our marriage last:

Laurel,

Everyone who gets married plans to do it for life, but a high percentage of marriages fail for some reason. I was curious as to why this was and so I looked up the leading causes of divorce and found this https://www.institutedfa.com/Leading-Causes-Divorce/.

The major causes and my opinions on how we can avoid each:
  1. Basic incompatibility
    1. My opinion is that people grow apart if they don’t spend much time together. I think it is best that we always try to remain in person together each night. People who do long distance relationships or even have frequent separated trips sometimes grow apart or it even opens up opportunity for infidelity.
    2. We also should really focus on doing fun activities together, both now and after we have kids. We should never focus so much on kids that we stop paying attention to each other.
  2. Infidelity / sexual issues
    1. I think it is very good that each of us is almost always willing to have sex if the other person wants to – this helps keep both of us satisfied and happy.
    2. I think my plan of staying physically together is very important here as well. I looked up the biggest causes of cheating and found this pretty good article – http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/top-reasons-male-cheating-and-infidelity. Here is what I thought of it:
      1. Men have extremely strong urges to spread their seed. I agree with this article that men are not necessarily predestined to cheat, but avoiding situations like trips alone or alcohol alone can help prevent issues. It’s the same thought process for why we don’t keep candy in our cupboards lol… we know we shouldn’t have it but if it is easy to get it is very hard to resist.
  3. Money issues
    1. I don’t think we have any problems here, we both share the same money philosophy
  4. Emotional / physical abuse
    1. No issues here
  5. Parenting issues / arguments
    1. What parenting issues do you think we will run into? How can we deal with them?
  6. Addiction / alcoholism issues
    1. I think this is a potential danger. Not really sure how to deal with it, but I guess it comes back to my idea from the first two points that we should stay together physically. I am a lot less likely to drink heavily when I am around you then when I am with friends.

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Joel Gross

Joel Gross is the CEO of Coalition Technologies.

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