Abby Reph & Hubby Mike Reph Threaten Me

Disclaimer: As always, what I write here on my blog is my personal viewpoint on the world.‚  Those of you who know me know I am extremely open and honest even when I am in the wrong (which I partially am here for sending an awfully dumb joke to everyone in my phone book).‚  The events that follow are my personal perspective on what happened, but feel free to talk to any of my friends to verify my opinion.

Backstory: Five years ago, I hung out with a girl named Abby (Berger at the time, now Reph… thanks for the info Faryar) I met in class at UW a few times.‚  We went on several dates and messed around a little bit, but she was religious and didn’t want to have sex outside of marriage so we stopped seeing each other.‚  Fast forward a months; I went out with my buddy Hyok to Earl’s on the Ave and had a few long islands and when the bar closed went back to his apartment with a big group of people to relax and have a night cap.‚  While there, Hyok told me a joke that I found hilarious at the time: “How do you make a girl remember you forever?…. Rape her”.‚  In retrospect, it was a joke severely lacking in taste, but I have long been a fan of creepy humor (see the Old Gregg video for example).‚  In my intoxicated state I thought it was funny and sent it to everyone in my phone book…. including Abby Reph.‚  Not smart.‚  Abby, instead of acting like a regular human being and calling me like all my other friends did the next day and saying, “What the hell, Joel?!‚  That joke is awful”, called her lawyer.‚  A month later I got a letter from the guy saying not to contact her again.‚  I could sorta understand where she was coming from, we had stopped seeing each other and sometimes its better to be safe than sorry.‚  I called the lawyer and explained the situation and he told me he would relay it to Abby and I forgot about the whole incident. Until last night (Saturday).

Tonight: Friends and I went to Bel Mar in Ballard for a friend of a friend’s birthday party.‚  We were having a pretty good time, laughing and talking with each other and the people in the birthday party.‚  I saw a pretty, tall blonde leaning against the brick wall upstairs and asked my buddy what her name was.‚  He told me Kerry and I walked over and introduced myself.‚  About two minutes into our conversation some guy I didn’t know walked over, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “You need to leave this bar.”‚  I looked down at him incredulously (he was about chest height on me) and said, “Excuse me?”‚  He repeated himself.‚  I replied, “What the hell are you talking about?”.

“My friend wants to fight you.‚  His wife is named Abby and you sent her a text message about …”‚  Jesus Christ.‚  Apparently Abby Reph was at the bar and her husband his buddies were getting their panties all up in a wad about a stupid joke I made five years ago.

I said, “Look buddy, I sent that text five years ago to everyone in my phone.‚  Our mutual friend Faryar even explained the misunderstanding to her.‚  Relax and tell your buddies to cool off.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to stay here.”

“If you or your buddies make trouble, I will call the police.”‚  That shook him a little, but at that moment Abby’s husband walked up to me and said, “Hi I’m Mike Reph, Abby’s husband.”

Great.‚  Both of these guys were chest high on me and looked soft.‚  I am very‚  opposed to getting in fights though.

Mike Reph said, “I think you should you leave.”

My blood was getting pretty hot at this point so I replied, “I feel threatened by you two. I’m getting heated.‚  I can feel my heart pounding faster.‚  I already explained to your “boy” that the text was sent to everyone in my phone book, and Abby and I’s mutual friend Faryar explained this to her years ago.‚  I don’t like people I don’t know coming up to me in bars and trying to start shit when I’m having a good time.”

Both of them backed off after that and started trying to make friends with me.‚  Mike Reph said, “I’m sorry about the misunderstanding, I’m glad you were honest with me.‚  It helps to get the whole story.‚  I work as a commercial loan officer.‚  What do you do?”‚  I just shook my head at him, answered curtly, and walked back over to my friends, conversation with the cute blonde completely ruined.

I was pretty angry about these guys I had never met threatening me in a bar, but I cooled off and went back to talking with various people.‚  About an hour and a half later though some ugly girl came up to me and said, “You should leave before these guys fight you.” Ugh… .not again.

This time I wasn’t as cool as the last time and told her, “If you or anyone else threatens me again tonight, I am going to call the police.‚  Walk away, I don’t want to see you again tonight.”

“I just reaaally think you should leave now.”

I walked away, but when I looked back I saw her chatting it up with all the girls I had been talking to.‚  Any opportunities I may have had were blown up.‚  I just shook my head and went to talk to my buddies about the ridiculous situation.‚  The smartest decision would’ve been to just leave, but I didn’t want to allow people to intimidate me, so I just tried to relax and drink my water.‚  I did keep my head on a swivel though to avoid getting sucker punched by someone too scared to fight like a man.‚  Nick and Kenny were tired though and convinced me that staying was pointless and we should just leave.

Hopefully, I’ll never see any of them again.‚  Irritatingly irrational people who must be very unhappy with their lives to harass a guy they never met for a stupid joke that led to a misunderstanding half a decade ago.

The final irony is that Abby and Mike Reph are supposed to be super Christian… yet just a few short hours before their Sunday church service they are drinking at a bar and threatening people with physical violence.‚  Jesus had a name for such people: “Whited Sepulchres”- beautiful & clean on the outside, but full of death and rot on the inside.‚  The Bible has a full chapter (Matthew 23) on hypocrites like Mike and Abby Reph and what happens to them, spoken by Jesus himself.‚  Hope those two like it hot, because their eternal vacation is gonna be roasty toasty.

Anyways, other than the annoying incidents, I liked Bel Mar.‚  Lots of very cute girls who were college educated.‚  I’ll probably go back.

Published by

Joel Gross

Joel Gross is the CEO of Coalition Technologies.

5 thoughts on “Abby Reph & Hubby Mike Reph Threaten Me”

  1. Dude that is so ridiculous. And Mike Reph if you are reading this let me give you a lesson about women because judging from your facebook pics you were prob a virgin when you marrried Abby. The fact that your wife came up to you and told you that story about Joel 5 years after it happened only shows one thing. That Abby saw Joel hitting on beautiful girls in Bel Mar i.e girls prettier than her and she got jealous. She realized what she missed and then looked over and saw your fat face and realized what a mistake she made. So in order to make her self feel better about her own mistake she thought it would be a good idea to have someone kick Joel’s ass. Because you were the only so called “male” available to carry out this stupid order of hers she told you that story so you would get angry and attack Joel. However you very soon realized that if you attacke dhim he probably would kill you and your fat buddy so you changed your tone and became friendly. So to summarize things for you; Abby is still not over Joel, she realized that she married a fat midget and got upset about it, she sent you to beat him up but sense you are 5’6 and fat yoou realized you would get murdered so you backed off which makes you a pussy….so….you’re wife is a jealous bitch who wants a bigger cock and you’re a pussy. Thank you and good night

    The Black Rooster

  2. Haha… Thanks for the support BR. It’s really annoying when you are going out to have a good time and random people you don’t know start threatening you. I’m just glad I didn’t sucker punched again. I was in belltown a year ago standing outside and some other short dude I had never met and still don’t know came up behind me and hit me in the side of the jaw. I just wish people would open the lines of communication so that incidents like these wouldn’t happen. How great would it be if Abby had simply called me five years ago and gotten the issue straightened out in five minutes instead of brooding over it for years and then sending her goons out to do physical violence?

  3. Still one of the all time classics in Joel folklore.

    The fact that the girl went to such great efforts to find out where we lived at the time, was also equally ridiculous.

    I guess just because you have an ID and can legally get into a bar, doesn’t mean that you’re out of Junior High.

  4. Hi.. I’m Mike Reph… Just not the Mike Reph who’s in this story!!! Who knew that there were more then one of us out there!! I probably am related to this other one though. Joel — it sounds like you did the right thing (other then sending the first awful joke to everyone in your address book). People need to take a deep breath an relax. I’m sure if Abby and Mike had come up to you, the first thing you probably would have said was, “OMG, I can’t believe how stupid that text joke I sent was — I’m really sorry, and I understand why you got creeped out about it.”

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