Below is the best advice I have that I gave my friend who is single and dating in Los Angeles in 2018.
I honestly have no clue as to which dating website is the best in the LA area. I asked my wife what her friends use and she said Bumble is the most popular site right now, along with Tinder (but that’s more for casual sex).
My recommendation is that as this is the most important decision you will make for your lifetime happiness, don’t be a cheap bastard… sign up and pay for multiple of the best rated / recommended services (Okcupid, Match, Bumble, maybe plentyoffish/ eharmony) – do your own research on which are actually used by real people.
If I was to do this whole process again, here is what I would do:
- Approach this like a job or investment. You paid thousands for a car you will use occasionally for a few years… this is a far more important decision. If you go to law school, you will spend tons of time studying to take the LSAT… once again this decision is worth a lot more time than that.
- Get professional photos of yourself taken (check Yelp for highest rated photographers, should cost $2-400), and ask a female friend to help you pick your best other photos off of Facebook or Instagram or wherever you store your photos. You probably should have some sports photos to show your interests, and you flying a fighter jet wouldn’t hurt.
- You should provide a solid write up in your profile too… show your sense of humor and also talk about your interests (especially that you want someone athletic like you). Once again, get several trusted people to give you feedback on your profile(s). Send screenshots if you can’t send a public link.
- Once your profile is all set up and good to go, take all their bullshit quizzes on the sites that have them to ‘match’ you with people. This will take hours, but will pay off later.
- Now use your search filter settings to find all girls in your area you find attractive. Then make a short (1-3 sentences) intro message you can copy and paste many times. Move very quickly here… only 1% of the girls you message will respond. You need to send thousands. Listening to music while you do this and chill out is a decent method.
- When a girl messages you back, look more closely at her profile. Does she match what you are looking for with looks / interests / intellect / athleticism? If so, then send a solid follow up message and start the conversation. I would ask for a phone call. On the call, try to strike up some chemistry, but also remember you are trying to screen her out. You are looking for reasons to say no through this whole filtering process basically. If she passes here, then set up an in person date. In person dates take a long time, and can be frustrating so you want to screen people well before you ever get here. Remember you will go on lots of shitty dates, but the payoff will be enormously worth that effort.
- The biggest thing here is to look at this as a part time job… it will take a few months of an hour or two a day (and more time than that when you have a date). In recruiting, a big rule is that you can find a reason to say “yes” for every candidate…. your job is to find a reason to say “no”. Make a list of what’s important to you (looks, sex appeal, stability, intelligence, athleticism, career, debt, views on family, etc.). Use that to screen people out as quickly and early in your process as you can.
My wife also says you should just have fun with this too :). Just go on lots of dates even though it will get exhausting and frustrating.