Some of the men I know are legends with the ladies and they know it. They have cultivatd a talent to make women fall hopelessly and intensely in love with them, while they remain aloof and above it all. These men aren’t self-described “players”, but rather bring genuine charm and romantic ability to bear on others. The men who do this end up harming themselves though, since they use that same charisma and finely honed talent not only on women they are interested in, but inevitably on everyone around them.
When I have honest conversations with these guys, they often reveal the same thing: either that they feel isolated or they feel like frauds. I think that to be a true “ladies man”, you lose or greatly diminish the ability to express yourself openly. To go from woman to woman and not fall in love and just take from them requires the men to shut down or numb their ability to open themselves freely and honestly… and losing this ability is losing the ability to allow your heart to speak. Men who have cultivated the ability to connect with any women they choose gain the ability to manipulate the way their emotions appear and send false signals to different women and connect with whomever they choose. In doing so though, the men have lost the ability to send off genuine signals of their own.
These are the men who end up marrying the most beautiful, intelligent woman they can find who loves them unconditionally… but these men can never love the women back properly or have a connection to really express themselves intimately. Their lives are lived in cold loneliness and occasionally a slow anguish bubbles to the surface.
More on this later if anyone is interested… right now it’s time for my flag football game.