Happiness is…

-a virus. When you have it, you pass it to those around you.

-reading an excellent book while eating popcorn slathered in cock sauce and johnny’s salad elegance.

-not easily discovered in oneself, and not found at all elsewhere.

-not to be found on the summit; instead it is found on the journey.

-not having to commute.

-a practiced skill, like flag football.

-found in a good woman. Find a bad one and you become a philosopher.

-building a “nude art” photo collection.

-not to be found found by masturbating, but by sharing oneself with another.

-realizing you are almost fully in your prime, every door is open and the world begs for you to take it.

-disappearing whenever you please.

-a case of three buck chuck and six new crystal wine glasses.

-not the shitty art purchased from Ikea or putting together their damned tables.

-not in one night stands, but in real relationships. Unless you are the Black Rooster.

-pounding Fletcher in chess.

-useless. It can’t buy you money.

Friend in Iran: Secret Code

If you say the first part, you mean the second… so if you say “I walked the dog” it means “I masturbated furiously”.

“The trees are watching me” means “The Iranian secret police followed me home”

“I found a cherry tree” means “I had sex with a hairy Persian virgin”

“A stick poked me” means “I am now involved in the underground gay scene”

“Allah save us all” means “The government is torturing me for my crimes”

“A bounty of joy has come from my conversion to Islam” means “I am laundering cash”

“A bone fell from the sky” means “I went to a wedding and took home three Persian virgins and made sweet love to them for a solid week. Once they had all fallen in love with me, I turned them into prostitutes. I am now a bigtime Madame (post-sex op) in Tehran making lots of money and doing blow.”

I completely forgot the frattastic ridiculousness…

…until I saw this video made by a film major who was a frat brother of mine in Sigma Chi. I highly recommend watching it- it’s hilarious, fairly insightful and stars Jimmy Craig (the initial guy interviewed). Jimmy Craig is one of the funniest guys I’ve met in my entire life, but he’s fairly serious here. The video is made by Chris Frager, who was a really chill guy. There are some old clips from the frat though that brought back memories- zoo hall wrestling, bush jumping, jousting, heavy intoxication, hot naked women, extreme violence, Lord of the Flies social system, women spanking men, drugs, more violence, more alcohol, parades, rush week, parties, sadism, football, physical abuse and all sorts of other fun.

P.S. Justin, don’t be a dumbass and join a frat. Your personality would not be a good match. I’ve seen bad things happen to some people. Bad things.

Busy Bee

Sorry I haven’t posted for a while… I am buried in work.

I am trying to prepare a business proposal and mockup website for the TVI before my company’s October 18th board meeting and I have a ton of stuff to do. I also recently had a friend contact me to build a website for him, so I am trying to juggle a lot of responsibilities.

What a turd

Danny Bonaduce (crazy radio host who had a television show about his addiction to steroids) threw a former “Survivor” reality show winner over his back and smashed his face open at a reality show. The guy had a bunch of teeth broken out. Watch the video.