How long should you wait till you sleep with your new beau? Over the last couple of months, I have been rethinking my policy on when I sleep with new women I like.‚ Formerly I believed that the sooner you slept with your partner, the better, but I have developed serious doubts about that philosophy.‚ I have begun to think that sleeping with someone too soon leads to that person feeling not as valuable and just thinking you are out for sex.‚ That insecurity leads to trust and passion problems further down the road.
I think it is important when considering this topic to distinguish between two different types of sex partners: the lover and the fuck buddy.‚ With a fuck buddy, you want to keep the relationship completely physical with clearly defined boundaries.‚ You do this by communicating with the person and explaining exactly how you feel and what you want.‚ It is important to be very honest with the person and not lead them to expect anything more.
For the lover, a different approach is required.‚ If you sleep with someone that you want to date too soon, it can leave that person with a bad taste in their mouth.‚ Society has ingrained certain the belief in people that if you have sex to soon with someone you are somehow worth less.‚ I do not subscribe to this belief, but enough people do that it can lead to doubts on the part of you partner.‚ They worry that you are only after sex and feel devalued by your rapid hurdling of their loosely held morals.‚ For this reason, I am changing my approach to potential lovers now.‚ I am going to wait for awhile and let tension & passion build up.‚ I have seen other people do this and it leads to powerful emotional responses from both parties.
For now my new goal is going to be to wait as long as I can before sleeping with a new lover.‚ Maybe I’ll make it to the second date.. j/k.