Men=Dogs, Women= Cats

Ever since I was a little kid, dogs are supposedly masculine while cats are feminine. Cartoon dogs are always male and cartoon cats are always female. I am starting to understand why people make that generalization. Dating women is like herding cats… the more you try to get them to do what you want, the less likely they are to follow. However, if you don’t care what they do they will do as they please which in most cases is pursue you if they like you. I have experienced this time and again; I start to date a girl and don’t really care at first and she gets really into me. Eventually I start to reciprocate more and more, but as soon as she thinks she has me under her thumb, she suddenly doesn’t want to do anything and acts weird. Groucho Marx hits the nail on the head when he says, “I wouldn’t want to be a part of any club that would have me.” Perhaps women with higher self-esteem wouldn’t have this issue.

Jeremy and I today were discussing what it would be like to date us. He told me he wouldn’t want to date me; I’m too demanding. He would prefer Fletch who is eager to please. Dick. I think I am quite nice to date and I always happy to go out of my way to make my women smile. I guess I can be demanding sometimes, but I am very open about what I want in a relationship; a good friend, lots of sex, fun dates and quality snuggling time. If I don’t have the above, I can get antsy. Jeremy is more like a cat than a dog though; he most respects women who don’t give him too much time. He also is inextricably drawn to women who look at him as he looks upon himself; as a god. He’s hilarious. I think that Fletcher is too laid back when it comes to women, he is very agreeable and nice and does as they please. Jeremy and I are of a bit more dominant strain, though Fletcher probably has the healthiest relationships out of the three of us.

I think that my ability to have good relationships has gotten better as I’ve gotten older. I was a complete asshole in college (girl I told was an “experiment” and many other stories), but have slowly improved over time to now where I think that I am somebody that I would date if I was a woman.

Rachelle has some good relationship advice. She has helped pull my balls out of the fire a couple times.

Sorry about the rambling post, I’ll get back onto my original topic. I think that the more time you spend in a relationship as a guy, the happier you are to have more time with the woman you are with. Women, however, seem to go in strange swings that I don’t understand at all. Sometimes when I am a real dick they can’t get enough of being with me and wanting to please me and then other times when I treat them like queens, they act like I am more annoying than dirty gum on the bottoms of their shoes. Perhaps one day I will be as wise as Richard Schreiber and just have all the women want me all the time. Or be like my brother Jordan and marry one so she is nailed down for life… “Jesus says you can never leave me!”

I should’ve majored in Women’s Studies in college.

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Joel Gross

Joel Gross is the CEO of Coalition Technologies.

6 thoughts on “Men=Dogs, Women= Cats”

  1. Ha. Team America. Some people are dicks. Other people are assholes. Others are pussies. etc, etc, etc.

    And you don’t marry a girl just so Jesus makes her stay with you forever. You marry her, because you’re certain that you’re worth a lifetime of her love.

  2. Jordan- Awesome comment- “You’re certain that you’re worth a lifetime of her love”… ummm.. isn’t she supposed to be worth a lifetime of YOUR love too?! Weirdo.

    Anyways, no matter whether I am a dick, pussy, or asshole, women love me.

    I rock.

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