I had readers from many countries visit my website last month.‚ Here is a special message from me to each country’s visitors.‚ The country’s name is on the left, the number of unique visitors in the middle, my message on the right.
United States‚ ‚ ‚ 54,040 Religiousity is divine.
Canada‚ ‚ ‚ 4,282 Speak English.
United Kingdom‚ ‚ ‚ 2,700 Your “Office” has been matched.
Australia‚ ‚ ‚ 1,921 Penal colonies are toasty, eh?
Germany‚ ‚ ‚ 647 Free speech is only for people who agree with us.
South Africa‚ ‚ ‚ 424 Move someplace less scary.
India‚ ‚ ‚ 323 Liked your new movie.
New Zealand‚ ‚ ‚ 311 Zeal is a fun word.
Netherlands‚ ‚ ‚ 289 Visiting nether regions is a hobby of mine.
Sweden‚ ‚ ‚ 284 Send me a few blondes.
Philippines‚ ‚ ‚ 266 Mmm.. outsourcing.
France‚ ‚ ‚ 262 Freedom fries taste best.
Poland‚ ‚ ‚ 253 Pollock jokes aren’t funny.
Brazil‚ ‚ ‚ 233 Super hot women.
Ireland‚ ‚ ‚ 231 Sucks to have to drink your women hot.
Belgium‚ ‚ ‚ 227 Good beer.
Norway‚ ‚ ‚ 213 I am part Viking.
Spain‚ ‚ ‚ 196 Almost visited you before becoming a corporate slave.
Italy‚ ‚ ‚ 195 Pasta is tasty.
Singapore‚ ‚ ‚ 191 Maybe I’ll visit someday.
Mexico‚ ‚ ‚ 189‚ Cancun is a real Mexican villa right?
Japan‚ ‚ ‚ 156 Heard you guys are rebuilding your armed forces now.
Malaysia‚ ‚ ‚ 149 Another scary place.
Romania‚ ‚ ‚ 140 Take a shot for me.
Finland‚ ‚ ‚ 120 Take two.
Indonesia‚ ‚ ‚ 119 More friendly labor.
Croatia‚ ‚ ‚ 119 You guys have computers?!
Denmark‚ ‚ ‚ 113 Can place the continent, that’s about it.
Greece‚ ‚ ‚ 107 THIS. IS. SPARTA!
South Korea‚ ‚ ‚ 93 North of you is scary.
Serbia‚ ‚ ‚ 93 Serbs like herbs.
Russia‚ ‚ ‚ 91 The motherland. Or is fatherland?
Argentina‚ ‚ ‚ 88 Place I’d like to go.
Turkey‚ ‚ ‚ 88 Least scary muslim country.
Portugal‚ ‚ ‚ 87 Know nothing about you.
Hungary‚ ‚ ‚ 85 Me too.
Iraq‚ ‚ ‚ 82 Stop killing us and we’ll stop killing you.
Bulgaria‚ ‚ ‚ 82 I got nothing.
Switzerland‚ ‚ ‚ 80 No more hiding our cash in your banks?
Czech Republic‚ ‚ ‚ 79 Eek.
Austria‚ ‚ ‚ 74 White, blonde, blue eyed?
Israel‚ ‚ ‚ 72 Tough to be you.
China‚ ‚ ‚ 68 My site isn’t censored in your country yet?
United Arab Emirates‚ ‚ ‚ 65 Oil wealth is fun.
Slovenia‚ ‚ ‚ 62 Scary sounding place.
Hong Kong‚ ‚ ‚ 53 How’s China treating you?
Kuwait‚ ‚ ‚ 49 Glad that turd Saddam is out are ya?
Kenya‚ ‚ ‚ 48 I gave money to a feed the starving people thing.
Thailand‚ ‚ ‚ 47 Love peanut sauce.
Chile‚ ‚ ‚ 46 Visit me!