Last night, Andy and I went to see the new movie Wanted starring Angelina Joelie, Morgan Freeman, Thomas Kretschmann and Konstantin Khabensky. My review of the movie Wanted is simple- I wish I could “curve” a bullet like the cheesy characters in the movie and make it come around and bury itself in the back of my head. Watching the movie Wanted is a soul-crushing exercise in stupidity. The plot is terrible, the dialogue lame and the acting… well, Angelina Joelie quality. Wanted, directed by Timur Bekmambetov, is a film based on a comic series by Mark Millar that starts out with a man named “Mr. X” (yes, this is the cheesiness of the film) who goes to find out about a bullet. Someone tries to assassinate Mr. X, so he randomly runs backwards and then charges full speed ahead and leaps through the window to the next door building, Matrix style. This is the first of many times that the movie Wanted rips off scenes from the Matrix (and other films including the Star Wars series).
Andy and I looked at each other incredulously at this scene in the movie Wanted, but I was willing to give it a chance. Quickly that hope is dashed by Timur Bekmambetov and his lust for meaningless action sequences and terrible movie making ability.
The plot of Wanted turns from “Mr. X” (who ends up getting assassinated shortly after he leaps across the building) to Wesley Gibson. Wesley Gibson is an account manager for a random firm who is the most stereotyped down & out guy I’ve ever heard of… his boss is a fat jerk, his best friend sleeps with his girlfriend and his girlfriend is a shrew. Wesley himself is a anxiety attack sufferer… his anxiety attacks turn out not to be a bad thing at all, but instead a slowing down of time that he can control to run fast and do cool stuff.
The rest of the plot goes from one awfully done scene to the next. Wesley Gibson spends the rest of the film getting “trained” (bludgeoned in the face by a random assassin) for a few days till he has big strong pecs. I don’t get it either.
I don’t feel like talking about this awful movie anymore. Suffice to say, Wanted is a fat retarded nerds wet dream. The movie Wanted doesn’t make sense and steals ideas from better movies and books and throws them into a blender and what comes out is the worst movie I have seen in a very long time.
One good thing about last night though- I spanked Andy at chess later. Lol.