A friend recently told me that she did not believe in love or at least the happy feelings that you get when you meet someone new. She said that it doesn’t last because it is just a temporary boost in serotonin, endorphins and other fun brain chemicals. I thought about it and I disagree with her.
I think that there are different ways that the word love is used. When I look at love in the way she described, I don’t “believe” in it either. However, I usually use love in a different way. Love to me is not necessarily a feeling/emotion (though that can be there too), it’s a deep respect, caring and appreciation for a person. When you truly love someone you are honest and loyal to them and do everything possible to ensure their happiness. Love also doesn’t evaporate along with chemicals in your brain, it’s a lasting dedication that you follow through on no matter what. That kind of love I believe in completely.
I hate that our politically correct”self-esteem”driven culture has destroyed the meaning behind “I love you”. To most people today it is a bland farewell used at the end of phone conversations and visits. Silly sorority girls say it to each other all the time as greeting and dismissal. Love has become a vague and basically meaningless term. Many people today criticize older generations for using the word “love” so sparingly, but I think that not bandying it about like “hello” and “goodbye” makes it so much more powerful. It’s actually a semi-accurate theory of mine that the more often someone says, “I love you”, the less they are to be trusted. Actions speak far louder than words. My father used it constantly and couldn’t have cared less about my brothers or I. My grandma says it only occasionally and my grandpa has never said it, but their actions and sacrifices they have made for me tell me everything I need to know. I personally am very careful about who I say that to and when I say it. I am not embarrassed nor do I think it is “unmanly” or something stupid like that- I just want it to mean something when I do. At this point in my life, there are only ten people that I love anyways.
Also, since I’m a cheeseball, here’s that song from “Night at the Roxbury”…
“What is Love?”