Charles Shaw, how I love you.
When I am cold, you warm me.
When I am sad, you bring smiles to my face.
Charles, you are the only man who makes me happy,
You’re strong perfumes make me feel so sappy.
You are the only one who willingly goes in the box,
which I guard with big shotguns and locks.
Charles Shaw, we have a romance that will last a lifetime,
I will die of liver cancer, but it will be no crime.
For I understood from the beginning we are doomed;
A tragic pair that only death will separate with a final boom.
Dedicated to my dearest friend, Three Buck Chuck.
You need an intervention. Joel, I think you have an alcohol problem.