Is it weird that I feel the same exact way about the passing of Steve Jobs as I did about the entirety of 9/11?
Category: King of America
BPN DECLARES WAR ON PRIVACY
Our modern age of ignorance has brought about the most powerful government the world has ever known declaring war on a tactic (terrorism). Privacy is a principle and as such is much more natural to have war declared on it. Throughout history governments and peoples have declared war on the basis of principles such as greed, socialism, religion.… read more “BPN DECLARES WAR ON PRIVACY”
King of America: The Joy of Gluttony
Shows such as “The Biggest Loser” and “Quarter Ton Teen” have been cropping up lately trying to encourage Americans to eat less. Pop psychologists regularly appear on talk shows jabbering about how America has an “obesity epidemic” and how gluttony is tearing apart the fabric of our society.
Enough of that crap. The King of America is here to share with you some of the joys of gluttony.… read more “King of America: The Joy of Gluttony”
King of America: 2nd Amendment- The Right to Bear Arms
I want a nuclear weapon.
I have a right to have a nuclear weapon.
So screw you liberal bastards, I’m going to get me a nuclear weapon.
The purpose of the 2nd amendment was to give the people power over the government. Without the right to bear arms, the government can do as it pleases without listening to the people.… read more “King of America: 2nd Amendment- The Right to Bear Arms”
King of America on Eating
The King Of America’s Recipe for a satisfying dinner:
-1 pound of garlic roasted asparagus spears
-3 fat butter & black pepper grilled steaks
-1 apple
-Half of a 2-liter Costco jug of grape juice
-1 container of low-fat orange yogurt
Consume this beautiful meal at home alone in peace. I never watch television (why do I pay for cable again?),… read more “King of America on Eating”
King Of America: Policy on Sports & Crime
When I take over my duties as King of America, I will be instituting a series of policies meant to resolve the major issues facing our nation today. Today, I am going to discuss my beautiful solution that kills two big problems with one stone: Crime and lack of entertainment.
America right now has over 2.2 million people currently in prison.… read more “King Of America: Policy on Sports & Crime”
King of America
I have decided that I am going to be the first King of America.
King of America will be a new branch of the government like the Presidency, Supreme Court and Legislature; only it will reside above these. Why do we need a new branch of the government you ask? Every so often someone needs to just step up and make decisions without worrying about what anyone thinks.… read more “King of America”