I found a fun thread on Reddit with jokes that you should never repeat to anyone. Here are a few that are less offensive (and yes, I realize these are all still highly offensive!):
- Why did Princess Di cross the road?” She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt
- How do you know Princess Di had dandruff? When she crashed, they found her Head & Shoulders on the dashboard…
- What do you call a train full of toffee? A chew chew train…
- A man walks into the doctors office and asks ‘Can I have some morning after pills for my 10 year old daughter?’ The doctor replies ‘My god, your daughter’s 10 years old and sexually active?!’ The man replies ‘Sexually active?! Nah she usually just lies there and cries…
- You know why they kept the library at Penn State named after Joe Paterno? To remind everyone to stay quiet while they’re in there.
- Why didn’t the world end on 12/21/2012? Because we sacrificed 20 virgins on 12/14
- Why is six afraid of seven? Cause 7 8 9
- You know Princess Diana and I are friends on xBox Live. I thought we could play some games or something, but she just spends all her time on the dashboard.
- What happens when you mix human DNA with goat DNA? Kicked out of the petting zoo.