If you say the first part, you mean the second… so if you say “I walked the dog” it means “I masturbated furiously”.
“The trees are watching me” means “The Iranian secret police followed me home”
“I found a cherry tree” means “I had sex with a hairy Persian virgin”
“A stick poked me” means “I am now involved in the underground gay scene”
“Allah save us all” means “The government is torturing me for my crimes”
“A bounty of joy has come from my conversion to Islam” means “I am laundering cash”
“A bone fell from the sky” means “I went to a wedding and took home three Persian virgins and made sweet love to them for a solid week. Once they had all fallen in love with me, I turned them into prostitutes. I am now a bigtime Madame (post-sex op) in Tehran making lots of money and doing blow.”
HAHAHAHAHAHA…that’s was some funny ass shit. I will def use all of them at one point or another.
I have a few other I would like to add:
I bought a rabbit = I now have a gizmo in my closet.
I read a good book last night = I had a threesome with two 19 year olds. Afterwards I offered them $5 to take the night bus home.
I climbed a mountain last week = someone’s father/older brother wants my blood and I’m on the run