SQL Databases

SQL is pretty difficult to learn for a poor business guy like me. But I’m working on it slowly… I installed SQL Express and am using it as a Google developer.. ie I type into Google “SQL tutorials”. Too bad other SEO’s have dominated that keyword trying to sell me SQL tutuorial videos and other crap I don’t want to buy.

Funny Wedding Photos

While perusing the internets, I came across a list of funny wedding photos and thought that I would repost them and some other good ones I spotted here. I have participated in a couple of weddings and my younger brother Justin has a wedding coming up in December, so funny wedding photos seems like a good relevant topic. Unfortunately, I have not yet taken any funny wedding photos of my own but perhaps I’ll take some at the upcoming weddings I will be attending.
Funny Wedding Photos- Ummm…. Where’s the chauffeur?

Funny Wedding Pictures- One day this will be me.

Bride in tennis shoes and striped socks

My dream is to have this woman be my bridesmaid at my wedding.. then it will be my funny wedding photo.

The Proper way to prepare oneself for the honeymoon night.

Dad steps on Brides veil

Someone is about to get MESSED THE F UP!!!! Funny Wedding Photos!

Is there a doctor in the house? I love that guy’s hair in this funny wedding photo.

See the rest of the FUNNY WEDDING PICTURES by clicking to read more below:

Continue reading Funny Wedding Photos

What is Human?

What is human? What does it mean when we say people, mankind, or human being?

Differing answers to this question has been the source of endless conflict and strife over the years. The actions that have resulted from this have been anything but theoretical; abortion clinic bombings, abortion (if fetuses are human, than the United States has been murdering massive amounts of it’s own people), concentration camps, hate crimes and genocide.

I don’t have the answer to this question, but I am going to try to name and discuss some of the various theories that I’ve had or I’ve observed other people to hold on this topic. The implications that follow from these theories are enormous, ranging from stem cell research to artificial intelligence to gene therapy to abortion to selecting what color eyes (or skin!) your baby has. Thinking on this topic just raises more questions for me:

  • Are fetuses human? If not, then at what point do they suddenly turn human?
  • Would a robot that was as intelligent as humans and had their physical capabilities and emotions be human?
  • Would an artificially constructed man (Frankenstein style) be human? If not, could corporations build millions of these and put them to work as slaves?
  • Are medically brain dead people human? Are severely retarded individuals?
  • Who can be killed? Animals? Vegetables? Old people? Bums? Babies? Jordan?

How do we decide what is human?

The Social Contract: The social contract theory on what is human holds forth the idea that human’s have banded together in a societal group, and this group gets to decide what is human. The social contract is flexible and is determined by whoever holds power in that society. In America, this means that most everyone (except fetuses) is allowed in and the only way to get thrown out is to commit a horrific murder (death row). Problems with this theory arise when harsh dictators like Saddam Hussein or Adolph Hitler come to power and decide to cast out political/tribal opponents and kill them at will. The Social Contract theory is the one that is practiced all over the world and has been for most of history. The following theories attempt to approach the question from moral perspectives, generally based on logic or religion.

Religion: “God”, whomever that may be for the group of people in question, determines what is human and what may be done with said humans and what their rights are. Generally, this theory has been massively abused since it’s birth. The Amazon’s sacrificed virgins to the Sun God, Islam declares jihad on infidels and Christianity “encourages” faith through conquest (The Crusades, Iraq War 1 & 2). Scary, but definitely the second most subscribed to theory after the Social Contract theory (perhaps even more so in earlier civilizations).

Conscious Theory: Human beings that are self-aware are human and have certain inalienable right. According to this theory, artificial intelligence & aliens would be human while fetuses and severely retarded people would not be.

What do you guys think? Any other theories I missed or answers to the questions I raised?

Out of Food

My refrigerator is looking despairingly empty. Turkey slices, Costco condiments and cottage cheese. Unappetizing.

I think my happiness levels are directly correlated to the amount of tasty food I have lying around. Time to hit up QFC.

Ancient of Days

Stress started to get to me today. I came home from work and was feeling on edge and like I had some pressure in my skull and a slight bleariness in my eyes. The entire day was busy with little tasks that had to be done immediately mingled with big tasks that have looming deadlines and factors I cannot control and by the time it was over I wasn’t feeling my usually laid back self.

It probably doesn’t help that as soon as I got home I picked up the book that my coworker Nic’s wife loaned me (The Stand by Stephen King; actually a pretty good novel) and just let the plot and suspense get me even more wound up. Later in the evening, my friend Tara and her little dog Frida went on a walk with me and even some exercise didn’t seem to help.

Now I am undergoing a self-prescribed regimen of blog therapy. A little New-Agey for me, but maybe it’ll work.

Universal Laws

Over time, people have managed to discover many important laws about the universe we live in. Most of these laws remain separated and never are brought together in such a way that people can really and truly benefit from the BIGGER PICTURE. I have decided to try and bring enlightenment to the broader world by doing so. Read the interesting list of laws below and perhaps add your own in the comments!

Murphy’s Law: If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it. (Edward A Murphy)
Ellison’s Law: Once the business data have been centralized and integrated, the value of the database is greater than the sum of the preexisting parts. (Larry Ellison)
Kurzweil’s Law of Accelerating Returns: As order exponentially increases, time exponentially speeds up (that is, the time interval between salient events grows shorter as time passes). (Ray Kurzweil)
Rule of 1950: The probability that automated decisions systems will be adopted is approximately one divided by one plus the number of individuals involved in the approval process who were born in 1950 or before squared. (Frank Demmler)
Hofstadter’s Law: It always takes longer than you think, even when you take Hofstadter’s Law into account. (Douglas Hofstadter)
Finagle’s Law: Anything that can go wrong, will. (?Larry Niven)
Spector’s Law: The time it takes your favorite application to complete a given task doubles with each new revision. (Lincoln Spector)
Church-Turing Thesis: Every function which would naturally be regarded as computable can be computed by the universal Turing machine.
Nathan’s First Law: Software is a gas; it expands to fill its container. (Nathan Myhrvold)
Amdahl’s Law: The speed-up achievable on a parallel computer can be significantly limited by the existence of a small fraction of inherently sequential code which cannot be parallelised. (Gene Amdahl)
Tesler’s Law of Conservation of Complexity: You cannot reduce the complexity of a given task beyond a certain point. Once you’ve reached that point, you can only shift the burden around. (Larry Tesler)
Hoare’s Law: Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out. (Charles Hoare)Universal Laws
Moore’s Law: Transistor die sizes are cut in half every 24 months. Therefore, both the number of transistors on a chip and the speed of each transistor double every 18 (or 12 or 24) months. (Gordon Moore)
Ninety-ninety Law: The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time. (Tom Cargill)
Pesticide Paradox: Every method you use to prevent or find bugs leaves a residue of subtler bugs against which those methods are ineffectual. (Bruce Beizer)
Conway’s Law: If you have four groups working on a compiler, you’ll get a 4-pass compiler. (Melvin Conway)
Fitts’s Law: The movement time required for tapping operations is a linear function of the log of the ratio of the distance to the target divided by width of the target. (Paul Fitts)
Cope’s Law: There is a general tendency toward size increase in evolution. (Edward Drinker Cope)
Kerckhoff’s Principle: Security resides solely in the key. (Auguste Kerckhoff)
Pareto Principle: 20% of the people own 80% of the country’s assets. (Corollary: 20% of the effort generates 80% of the results.) (Vilfredo Pareto)
Augustine’s Second Law of Socioscience: For every scientific (or engineering) action, there is an equal and opposite social reaction. (Norman Augustine)
Law of the Conservation of Catastrophe: The solutions to one crisis pave the way for some equal or greater future disaster. (William McNeill)
Red Queen Principle: For an evolutionary system, continuing development is needed just in order to maintain its fitness relative to the system it is co-evolving with. (Leigh van Valen)
Heisenbug Uncertainty Principle: Most production software bugs are soft: they go away when you look at them. (Jim Gray)
Ellison’s Law: The userbase for strong cryptography declines by half with every additional keystroke or mouseclick required to make it work. (Carl Ellison)
Joy’s Law: Computing power of the fastest microprocessors, measured in MIPS, increases exponentially in time. (Bill Joy)
Godwin’s Law: As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one. (Mike Godwin)
Lloyd’s Hypothesis: Everything that’s worth understanding about a complex system, can be understood in terms of how it processes information. (Seth Lloyd)
Law of False Alerts: As the rate of erroneous alerts increases, operator reliance, or belief, in subsequent warnings decreases. (George Spafford)
Hick’s Law: The time to choose between a number of alternative targets is a function of the number of targets and is related logarithmically. (W E Hick)
Gilder’s Law: Bandwidth grows at least three times faster than computer power. (George Gilder)
Zawinski’s Law: Every program attempts to expand until it can read mail. Those programs which cannot so expand are replaced by ones which can. (Jamie Zawinski)
Parkinson’s Law: Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. (C Northcote Parkinson)
Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management. (Scott Adams)
Clarke’s First Law: When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong. (Arthur C Clarke)
Grosch’s Law: The cost of computing systems increases as the square root of the computational power of the systems. (Herbert Grosch)
Sturgeon’s Law: Ninety percent of everything is crap. (Theodore Sturgeon)
Brooks’ Law: Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later. (Frederick P Brooks Jr)
Flon’s axiom: There does not now, nor will there ever, exist a programming language in which it is the least bit hard to write bad programs. (Lawrence Flon)
Metcalfe’s Law: The value of a network grows as the square of the number of its users. (Robert Metcalfe)
Rock’s Law: The cost of semiconductor fabrication equipment doubles every four years. (Arthur Rock)
Clarke’s Third Law: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. (Arthur C Clarke)
Fisher’s Fundamental Theorem: The more highly adapted an organism becomes, the less adaptable it is to any new change. (R A Fisher)
Hartree’s Law: Whatever the state of a project, the time a project-leader will estimate for completition is constant. (Douglas Hartree)
Osborn’s Law: Variables won’t; constants aren’t. (Don Osborn)
Wirth’s Law: Software gets slower faster than hardware gets faster. (Nicklaus Wirth)
Weibull’s Power Law: The logarithm of failure rates increases linearly with the logarithm of age. (Waloddi Weibull)
Tesler’s Theorem: Artificial Intelligence is whatever hasn’t been done yet. (Larry Tesler)
Occam’s Razor: The explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is most likely to be correct. (William of Occam)
Deutsch’s Seven Fallacies of Distributed Computing: Reliable delivery; Zero latency; Infinite bandwidth; Secure transmissions; Stable topology; Single adminstrator; Zero cost. (Peter Deutsch)
Hanlon’s Law: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. (?Robert Heinlein)
Benford’s Law: Passion is inversely proportional to the amount of real information available. (Gregory Benford)
Ellison’s Law: The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. (Harlan Ellison)
Grove’s Law: Telecommunications bandwidth doubles every century. (Andy Grove)
Jakob’s Law of the Internet User Experience: Users spend most of their time on other websites. (Jakob Nielsen)
Lister’s Law: People under time pressure don’t think faster. (Timothy Lister)
Sixty-sixty Law: Sixty percent of software’s dollar is spent on maintenance, and sixty percent of that maintenance is enhancement. (Robert Glass)
Peter Principle: In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. (Laurence J Peter)
Clarke’s Second Law: The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible. (Arthur C Clarke)
Weinberg’s Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. (Gerald M Weinberg)

Evan Lewis

Evan Lewis was a famous wrestler who passed away in 1919. There was also another Evan Lewis who was a Los Angeles politician. Another Evan Lewis works for my company and does some really cool stuff. That guy is interesting. I am tired and sick right now so my post on Mr. Evan Lewis probably doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. I guess that is what fever does to you. It twists your mind worse than the professional wrestler “Strangler” Evan Lewis would twist your arm.

When I grow up, I want to be just like Evan Lewis. When you think about a great man, the first image that should pop into your head should be Evan Lewis. Just talking about him makes me swoon. That and the Ibuprofen I just popped. Yum. I don’t recommend drugs, unless you are a hardcore hero like my fave, Evan Lewis.