Category: Uncategorized

Microsoft got ripped off, investing $240 million dollars in Facebook and only getting a 1.6% stake in return. The deal values Facebook at $15 billion. Mark Zuckerberg, the 23 year old owner of a 20% stake, is now worth about three billion dollars. Hot damn, I need to get my own business going at a much faster rate.… read more “Facebook Stake Purchased By Microsoft”

Today looks like it’s going to be very pretty!

On my way into work, I was looking out over the water and the big buildings downtown with the Cascade mountains in the distance with the sky behind them a deep red color and decided that life is good. The air was brisk and cool. Everything was crystal clear.… read more “Beautiful day!”

(*#%!!!!!!!!!!

FIX IT MBWAANA, RACHELLE, BEN, ALEX, or one of you other slacker microsoft employees! 😉

Paaaaaaaaaaaarteeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!!!!!!!!!

Parties at my company are usually pretty entertaining because senior management does their best to go completely wild. My favorite is when Dean, one of the founders, does his “dancing in the box”. Funny as hell.

I probably won’t stay as late as I have the last couple times, because I am going to go meet up with my woman.… read more “Work Party Tonight”

We had another motivational company-wide meeting today. Each of our top managers took turns talking about why what we are doing is important and what we should do about it. They had intended to have a quick 20 minute meeting followed by pizza, but they ended up stretching it out for 45 minutes. One unnamed manager, when trying to respond to the question, “What is our company mission?”,… read more “Hoo- RAH!”

 

Demotivational Posters– I love these. If I had a million dollars, I’d decorate my entire home with them.

Cop threatens dude with made up charges and is caught on camera. He is now a Youtube sensation. Power trips come back and bite you in the ass.

 

If you say the first part, you mean the second… so if you say “I walked the dog” it means “I masturbated furiously”.

“The trees are watching me” means “The Iranian secret police followed me home”

“I found a cherry tree” means “I had sex with a hairy Persian virgin”

“A stick poked me” means “I am now involved in the underground gay scene”

“Allah save us all” means “The government is torturing me for my crimes”

“A bounty of joy has come from my conversion to Islam” means “I am laundering cash”

“A bone fell from the sky” means “I went to a wedding and took home three Persian virgins and made sweet love to them for a solid week.… read more “Friend in Iran: Secret Code”