-The Department of Homeland Security has been working hard to make sure YOU are safe! Yesterday, 3 Mexican minors who had been arrested near the border on suspicion of smuggling drugs stole the patrol vehicle… while handcuffed. Incompetence at its best.
–Mouth to Mouth Assault… how romantic.
-Apparently I should be a swimmer or a rower and give up on cycling. I could’ve told you that.
–Dating coach: the perfect job for Joel.