Michael Phelps Should Get High and You Should Shut Up

Michael Phelps- Unhealthy Drug Addict?!
Michael Phelps- Unhealthy Drug Addict?!

Michael Phelps won 8 gold medals at the Olympics last year, setting a record for the most won by any person at an Olympics.‚  When he accomplished this feat, I didn’t really care because he did it in swimming, which is a specialized and uninteresting sport.‚  I didn’t understand why everyone thought it was such a big deal then and I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal that he smoked marijuana now.

Most major newspapers carried the story of Michael Phelps getting caught smoking pot at a party on their front pages.‚  Meanwhile, stories on how American taxpayers are getting screwed out of billions of dollars by the corrupt TARP bailout program are relegated to other sections.‚  Priorities are monstrously out of whack in our country right now.‚  A man who is in better shape than 99.999999% of U.S. citizens gets caught doing something moderately unhealthy once and suddenly he is a pariah.‚  Millions of fat and lazy people are self-righteously condemning him and sitting back feeling superior.‚  I’m here to let you know that if you are one of those people, you should take off all of your clothes and go look in the nearest mirror.


Michael Phelps has worked longer and harder than you or I could imagine to accomplish his goals.‚  I may not think his goals are important, but I can appreciate the incredible work ethic, integrity and persistence that carried him to 14 total Olympic gold medals.‚  The man has earned the right through copious amounts of sweat, blood and tears to do whatever he needs to do to relax.‚  The fact that marijuana use is illegal is irrelevant.‚  Fully half of Americans have admitted to smoking pot themselves and almost every single American has broken some laws at one point or another.‚  Have you done your taxes perfectly each year?‚  Have you ever jaywalked?‚  Had a beer before you were 21?

Kellogg Cereal has been Michael Phelps only sponsor to drop him.‚  A large scale boycott of Kellogg Cereal has now begun and I am joining it.‚  I will not support a cowardly company (not to mention the fact that I think athlete endorsement deals are a waste of money in the first place).

Michael Phelps could be caught making love to a redwood tree and it would not take anything away from his athletic achievements.‚  Nor should it make you feel better about your lazy, useless life.

Published by

Joel Gross

Joel Gross is the CEO of Coalition Technologies.

2 thoughts on “Michael Phelps Should Get High and You Should Shut Up”

  1. Well, what you may not considered well enough in your posting about Phelbs, is that he IS a 14 times olympic medal winner. On the first place: any drugs that even slightly have something to do with performance-enhancing are for all athletes/sportsmen vorbidden. This counts as DOPING. Marijuana is just as much on the list of prohibited substances by the World Anti-Doping Agency, like hormones or epo…etc. So of course it’s a big deal. Other silver winner or bronze winner don’t do it. They’re only silver and bronze winners afterall…

  2. Marijuana is a performance-LOWERING drug lol. It’s like smoking a cigarette, then running a marathon. Let Michael Phelps smoke his ganja.

Comments are closed.