Wicked Man

My brother Justin just forwarded me this email he received from Grandma Gross. Randall Gross has abandoned his own parents in their old age. His father has suffered several strokes over the last decade and is starting to deteriorate more rapidly and his mother is trying her best to care for him, but she also is facing the hardships of the elderly. No one in our family is quite sure why Randall Gross abandoned his parents, apparently he told them they had somehow hurt him by continuing to be involved in us kids lives or something. All I know is that he is a very selfish human being and a terrible person for cutting off all contact with his family.

Good Morning!

How are you doing, Justin? I’ve been thinking about you a lot and how busy you must be. I hope school is going o.k. and you don’t have a bunch of liberal teachers cramming that down your throat.

I’m about ready to do my 2 mile walk–that’s when I pray for you.

The house is coming along. I don’t know if we’ll be in by Christmas or not. Greg and Crystal haven’t sold their house yet. Things are moving really slow as far as real estate is concerned.

I sent your Dad a card, letter, check and phoned him for his birthday but no response. I said 50 is the year of Jubilee in Scripture could we make it that in our family? It is so sad.

Will love to hear from you. Papa is doing pretty well. His back is healing fine and has the left eye done for cataract surgery on Monday so he should be all fixed up. I’m tired but so what.

Lotsa love,


Randall Gross: A Profile in Cowardice

Note: The person referred to in this blog post is the Randall Gross who resides in Puyallup, WA and works for MultiCare Health system in Tacoma, WA.

The following blog is, as with everything on this website, an opinion of Joel Gross; while facts described are true, the conclusions drawn from those facts are personal, and may not accurately reflect Randall Gross. My law school friends advised me to say that. Furthermore, many of the facts stated cannot be proven because I have no police records , just sweet, sweet memories (other than the instance police responded to a domestic violence incidence at my house that resulted in Randy doing community service).

Randall Gross is my father. Perhaps not biologically, but until I was older, I believed that he was. I lived with him from the time I was born till I was 14 when he supported my meth-addled mother in kicking me out. I have not written this profile of Randy Gross lightly and would not have written it, except I have recently found out that he is treating my little brother Joshua very poorly, just like he treated his other three older sons. I am hoping in writing this that either Randall Gross loses custody of Josh or, much more doubtfully, sees the error of his ways and reforms his behavior. Now it’s time to pour the proverbial can of gas on the bum and light him up.

From the time I was very young, Randall Gross has been controlled by other people. Randy will do anything to please people around him. He was a pastor at Spanaway Assemblies of God (now the Sound Life Church of the Assemblies of God) and humbly took massive amounts of shit from everyone in the congregation… and turned around and dumped it on his own family. Randall Gross was too cowardly to stand up to anyone, but when he came home he was a different person- he took all of his rage and bitterness out on his children. Make no mistake about it; he was verbally and physically abusive. When other people in his life wanted attention he would neglect his own family to go try to make them happy. Randall Gross is a man of zero self-respect and no loyalty. If it is ever to his advantage, he will stab you in the back. Trust me, if he doesn’t hesitate to harm his sons, you don’t stand a chance.

Throughout my childhood, Randall Gross always promised to pay for my college when I was old enough. Shortly before I went to the University of Washington as a freshman, I went and asked him to follow up on his promise and help support me. Being the funny guy he is, he laughed and said okay- then flipped me a dime. I don’t think I have ever been so close to beating someone to death with my bare hands. Fortunately for him, I don’t abuse those who are weaker than me. That is one of the few lessons I learned from him.

For the longest time after I left at 14, I wanted to go back and pound Randy Gross’s face in. I remember talking to friends about it, and the friends being the people they are, offered to come down and help me. If I ever did something like that though, I would want to do it alone, just me and that vile child abuser. Bet you didn’t think that skinny little 11 year old you hit and threw things at and kept in his room for months would ever grow into 6’5” 220 athlete did you? Or that he would expose your darker side to the world?

After spending years away from Randall Gross, I let go of a lot of my ill will towards him and even visited him for a while the summer after my junior year of college. By that time, Randy had gotten remarried to a new woman who dominated him just like my mom used to own him. He had somehow convinced himself that he was a victim of my mom and my brothers. How you get victimized by little children, I don’t know. But I was trying to get around the past and see if I could salvage a relationship with him, so I listened to his sniveling and crying. Randall Gross kept repeating that no one realized how much hurt he had and how he had suffered more than anyone else because of my moms drug use and multiple marriages, including two to him. I’ll give him that, he did go through some shit. Randy Gross is an adult though and could have walked away at any time. Us kids didn’t have any such option and when he got angry and took it out on us we didn’t have any way of leaving. My effort to reconnect with him eventually broke down after he felt insulted by something I told him and he called me and told me he didn’t want to speak to me again and hung up. At that moment, I decided I would never have anything to do with him again; all he ever did was try to hurt me and bring me down. I haven’t spoken to him in around two and half years. I had put Randall Gross and his crimes out of my mind and moved on to a much happier and more satisfying stage of my life, until reports started to trickle in to me that he is maltreating Josh Gross. I don’t care about him any longer, but abusing my younger brother is intolerable. I think the best way to break Randy Gross’s selfish shell is to hit him where it hurts most- his ego. I want him to read this and realize that many other people have read it as well. Hopefully, his friends and coworkers and bosses will exert positive peer pressure that will result in him changing his cruel and neglectful behavior.

After being fired by the Assemblies of God for getting divorced, Randall Gross now works for MultiCare Health system in senior management as the “Director of Human Potential”… a cheesy name for HR director. MultiCare is a non-profit company that operates four local hospitals; Mary Bridge Hospital, Allenmore Hospital, Good Samaritan Hospital and Tacoma General Hospital, along with 90 or so smaller clinics around the Northwest. One of the great ironies of corporate life is that Randy Gross is in charge of helping to manage around 8,000 people in our area, when he failed miserably at managing his own family. He kicked me out at 14, Jordan out at 17, Justin at 16 and hopefully he will get rid of Josh soon too, for Josh’s own benefit. Randall Gross cut off Jordan and Justin as well. I have been talking to my bros and trying to help them understand that they aren’t bad people; Randy is a cruel-hearted yellow little man not worth any of our time. We brothers stick together.

The cause for me writing this article was I heard from various people how Randy’s been treating my little brother. I love my little brothers and grandma more than anything else in the world, and if I thought it would make things better for Josh, I’d gladly go down there and … old comment removed on advice of law school friends…give Josh a great big hug. I hope my friends will not think worse of me for this somewhat vitriolic and depressing article on Randall Gross. My friend Jeremy helped inspire this article, he gave his dad a nicer letter a few years ago. I decided to do the same, but Randy Gross only cares for the opinions of people other than his family so I published it here so others will know of and talk to him about his behavior.

I have repeatedly invited Josh to come live with me, though he’d probably have to share a bed with me in my little Seattle studio and it could get awkward if I brought a woman home. Oh well, I shared a room with Faryar and Fletch through college and just put a pillow over my head when I heard funny noises from them. I also have been working on convincing my grandparents to take him in; this would be the best option for him, but they are getting older and it wouldn’t really be fair for them to take a 3rd Gross boy.

I have become very long-winded, so let me sum up by listing a few more actions of Randall Gross:

-Randy is so unable to be alone he tolerated my mother drinking and doing meth constantly for years. When she got mad at us, she would use him as her hatchet man to come after us… and no matter how wrong she was, he would do it.

-Randall has now cut off his own elderly parents who raised him, along with his brother & sister and nieces and nephews. His father is nearing his deathbed after multiple strokes and his mother is barely able to care for him, but he still won’t talk to them.

-Randy is a Director at a major company making great money, yet refused to help any of his sons with college. As a matter of fact, he was so vindictive to Jordan that he repeatedly contacted the financial aid office and tried to get them to rescind the aid given to Jordan and I. It was only after Jordan and I brought in multiple documents proving Randy didn’t support us as he claimed that we received our university loans.

-Randall Gross a couple years ago got an online MBA from a sketchy internet university: basically one of those deals where you pay for a degree. He tried telling me that he was better than me because he had a 4.0 on his degree, while I only had a measly 3.52 from the University of Washington.

-According to my mom (an unreliable source), he once stood idly by and watched while she got raped on the hood of her car because he was too scared to do anything.

-My grandma told me Josh was offered by his school to participate in their honors program, but because his new wife’s kids didn’t get offered, he said no. Can’t hurt their feelings after all.

-I found out from my younger brothers that after I got kicked out, Randall Gross would denigrate me to them and encourage them to do the same behind my back.

-Anything given to Josh cannot be used by him at Randall’s house. For instance, I gave Josh a dartboard for his birthday and he will not be able to take it home. I also offered to buy Josh a gym membership near his house so he can start working out for football (which Randy won’t allow Josh to play, though he allows his stepson to), but Josh is not allowed to go. Josh is not even supposed to use money he gets from his brothers. Randy Gross tries to isolate Josh as much as possible.

-Randall Gross was a pastor for many years and claims to be a spiritual leader. His actions speak much louder than his public words though; he is on his third marriage, his family life is in ruins and he is the most selfish person I have ever met. On Sunday’s he goes to church and puts on his I-Love-Jesus face and sings and cries and dances, then walks out and violates almost every principle of the Christian faith. I think he believes the fruits of the Spirit are “cruelty”, “negligence”, “selfishness”, “petty hatred”, “prevarication” and “bitterness”.

In conclusion, I recommend that anyone who is friends or coworkers of Randall Gross carefully review your relationship with him. He is a snake in the grass who will attack you when least expect it and will not hesitate to use you if he thinks it will help him advance. If you are his employer I would carefully inspect his work record; he is very good at BSing, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you found that is all he has truly contributed to MultiCare. A man who can’t take care of the culture of his own family surely cannot be expected to shoulder the responsibility of caring for the culture of a large corporation. Is he a leader at your church? Are you sure you want to take spiritual advice from a man who’s heart is as black night? No one who is close to him and knows him respects him; they either manipulate him (his current wife) or avoid him (the rest of his family). Randall Gross is not a man to be associated with lightly.