I have been thinking about relationships a lot lately. Kind of cheesy, yes, but still it’s been on my mind. I am not the type of guy who just likes to just hook up or even have casual friends. Being close to someone and having a deep, meaningful relationship it makes everything else pale by comparison. I almost always have these relationships with people, whether they be family, friends or girlfriends. Typically this results in me having a select, small circle of people who are very close to me and then a big gulf between them and all of my acquaintances and people I don’t spend much time with.
Approaching life with stringent requirements and intense relationships has its ups and its downs. The people that I become close to know that I will never forget about them and will always love and care for them and I know that they will do the same for me. However, when one of us moves away or if its a girlfriend and we break up or if we just get busy, it’s not easy to move on and can be quite painful (which is the reason most people are very guarded against such relationships). Even with these difficulties, I think that these relationships are by far the best way to go. As time passes everything gets better in these relationships; you know each other more and more, your conversations keep improving and you know you can rely upon each other.
In order to have relationships like this, I have discovered that you must be able to do several important things. First and foremost, I have to try my best to be the ideal partner for the other person and trust that they will do the same for me. If you don’t know that the other person is working as hard as you are, you are likely to slack off or give up. Second, everyone is flawed and you have to expect failures along the way and learn how to overlook and forgive problems. If someone messes up (and they always do) and you can’t let it go, you will never be able to have very intimate relationships. Finally, you have to be able to treat the person as they could be, while still accepting them for who they are. When both people do these things, you can do anything together.
Throughout my life these have been my relationships. One or two or rarely three people that I spend all my time with and become best friends with. They don’t always end well, but they are far more satisfying than all of my other relationships. I wouldn’t trade them for the world and will continue to pursue people I respect enough to have them with and keep my guard down so they can come to me as well.