Olympics…

Don’t care. At all. Until they introduce wanking as an olympic sport so that I can compete, I am not going to pay any attention to them.
For God’s sake, they don’t even play football in the olympics! I am supposed to get excited about swimming or shooting or jumping? Booooooooring.

Everybody is all pumped about Michael Phelps and his freakish body. If I read one more story about Michael Phelps, I will freaking shoot myself. Competitive swimming is about as cool as competitive typing. Why don’t we make that an olympic sport too.

People go crazy every four years about the olympics, but they just aren’t that entertaining. Even watching the new Dream Team play basketball isn’t nearly as fun as NBA basketball. The U.S. team is a bunch of ballhogs who beat teams really badly, then lose to a well-disciplined team from Europe. Just not fun to watch in my humble opinion.

Of course, the winter olympics are even worse. Watching someone ski is almost worse than watching Sit ‘n be Fit. “Now lift one finger. Good. Now lift your arm. Great. Now ski down the mountain.”

Maybe if Americans started actually playing these “sports” themselves, we wouldn’t have such a nation of fat turds. Do what I did and disconnect your television. Now when I want to watch TV, I have to go down to the weight room in my apartment buildings basement and sit on the stationary bike or walk on the treadmill. Now I have tons of free time to do cool things like learn web application development, play flag football, and build ecommerce websites.