The Westboro Baptist Church

The Westboro Baptist Church is an interesting group. The group is almost entirely made up of one family; about 75 people including men women and children. Fox News and CNN and others have done reports on them recently. The church believes that God hates homosexuals and they actively spread this image. They believe that America has been doomed by God for tolerating the gay lifestyle. Lots of their actions are highly controversial, such as attending soldiers’ funerals and protesting saying the US military is full of fags that deserved to die. How they have survived so far is a mystery to me. They are the most hate-filled group I ever seen, but as a ex-pastor’s son, I can say that they actually are closer to following actual Biblical teachings than many other Christian groups. The Bible actually says that God hates homosexuality and sodomy and blah blah blah and that they are going to hell. However, they have left out the New Testament side of God’s forgiveness.

I just watched an interesting documentary done by a man who was allowed into their cult, I really recommend that you watch it too. It’s actually really sad to watch these little kids get indoctrinated with their ridiculous bullshit. The person I felt worst for was a 21 year old girl attending law school. She seemed intelligent, but she was so brain-washed into it that she firmly believed that she would never be able to get married because there was no true Christians left out there.

I would not be surprised to see the whole clan meet with a violent end. Protesting at soldiers funerals is a really bad idea. There are many returning soldiers who have severe post-traumatic stress syndrome and are trained and experienced in the use of violence to solve their problems. The Phelps have a compound with a ten foot fence, but that won’t slow an angry ex-soldier. I hope that nobody does anything to them and that they are able to recognize the inconsistencies in their own beliefs.

Are you my daddy?

Out of the blue a couple of weeks ago I received an email from Bruce Eide saying that he was going to be coming to Seattle on April 21st and 22nd for a conference.

Bonus info: Bruce Eide could be my biological father.

My crazy mother told me about five years ago that this man was probably my biological father. She is insane and lies constantly though so I am not sure what to believe. Thank god I got kicked out at 14 and was able to go live with my grandparents. Apparently she had an extramarital affair with this man shortly before she became pregnant with me and supposedly I look very much like him. It is her opinion that he is my biological father.

His email was short and sweet:

Hey Joel,

I am coming to Seattle to attend a conference on Saturday, April 21st.

I will be in Bellevue on Sunday, the 22nd. Would you like to get together?

I replied:


Absolutely! That would be great!

Just let me know when you’re available and we can figure something out. I’ll be off work and don’t have anything planned for that weekend yet, so anytime that is convenient for you would be good.

He responded today:

Hey Joel,

I will be staying at the XXXX Inn in Bellevue. On Saturday I am a guest at a WWII fighter pilot reunion and conference at the Museum of Flight. Later on that evening I’m not sure what the plans are. I think that I am not free through Sat. However, Sunday, is wide open for us to get together. Lunch? Dinner? What time works for you?

My cel# on Sat/Sun is XXX.XXX.XXXX


I am basically unsure of what to do. I tried to contact him about four years ago when I first found out and we exchanged a couple of emails and it just sort of died from there. My mom told me he was some sort of hotshot in Sioux Falls and his family owned Mercedes and Honda dealerships and some other things so I didn’t want to push him and make him think I was just trying to get money or something.

What the hell do I do with a man who may or may not be my biological father? I suppose I’ll just get lunch or dinner with him and talk for awhile and then ask him to try a DNA test. That seems impersonal and weird, but I want to know for sure. Such a strange situation and I’m not sure how I’m going to handle it.

P.S. Brothers & others, I would greatly appreciate it if you conveyed none of this information to my mom. She knows nothing of this meeting as far as I know and I want to keep it that way. Thanks.

Best of

I woke up this morning and went to the bathroom to do my daily duties and while I was there I picked up my roommates old copy of “The Daily” which had a multi-page article on the “Best of Seattle”. Like most articles in “The Daily” it was one of the poorest written articles I have ever read. The research sucked (it was probably written by a freshman who had only visitted the Ave in his whole tenure in Seattle) and the writing was terrible. So I have decided to write my own “Best of Seattle”. Read on.

-Best park: Gasworks park has gorgeous views of downtown, lots of green grass to play on and a high hill with a cool art installation on top. Not to mention the old industrial plant which is intriguing to explore.

-Best cheap Chinese restaurant (w/ Cocktails!)- The Seven Seas: it’s location in a tacky building on Lake City Way and trashy customers do nothing to take away from the fact that this place rocks. Great tasting food in large quantities for low prices and the best part is that you can eat it in their lounge in the back while sipping on cocktails. I have walked in hungry and sober before and walked back out full and quite tipsy with only a $40 tab for two people. Awesome.

-Best cafe: I am not qualified to judge this as I have only visited a few, but my favorite so far is probably the Trabant on 45th. They have a cool atmosphere and lots of open mike nights for your viewing pleasures.

-Best Gym: The WAC downtown. Gorgeous high end country club with a full gym and a cool bar and restaurant all located right in the middle of downtown. Membership is by invitation only. Fuckers.

-Best Bars: I am going to have to break this down into a few sections.
-Best Bar for hanging out in the U-district: Kai’s. Chill place with inexpensive drinks.
-Best Bar on Capitol Hill: My favorites are the War Room or the Cha Cha, depends on whether you want a wild dance party or chill conversation spot.
-Best Bar for getting smashed: Earl’s on the Ave. 2 $4 drinks are enough to put away most people (and there are those who’ve gone done for the count with less).
-Best Bar for seeing and being seen: Amber in Belltown. Everybody is well-dressed and beautiful, there are attendants in the bathroom to help you wipe your ass and bartenders dressed in black suits. Expensive as hell.

-Best Amusement: the 9-hole golf course by Green lake. $8 to rent a pitching wedge and a putter and a ball and go with your friends around this small course (most holes are 80 yards or so) and have some fun.

-Best local beach: Madison Park is packed all summer long with trendy hipsters, frat boys, families and sexy ladies outside tanning in the sun or swimming out to the diving dock. I recommend you bring a football & frisbee, but that’s just me.

Hopefully this guide will be more helpful to you than that piece of crap from “The Daily”.

“Morally Corrupt”

Frightening. Religion really freaks me out. Christians used to do this shit too before they stopped believing in the literal text of the Bible and emasculated their beliefs. How can you approve vigilante murders for “chastity crimes”, insulting the prophet Mohammed or being “morally corrupt”?!? You want to know what was morally corrupt that one young couple did? They were engaged to be married and WALKED TOGETHER IN PUBLIC! There are lots of these ancient superstitions, but in Iran, they are enforced by their Supreme Court. Horrifying. As Richard Dawkins put it, “Religion is a virus of the mind”.

Most of my life I’ve tended to be more towards the Republican side politically, because I am a huge supporter of small government and free market fiscal policies. However, the Republican party has slowly morphed into a party that is controlled by religious interest groups and now wants to codify their silly beliefs into law. In the last eight years they have had nearly full control of the government and instead of shrinking the government and the national debt (cornerstones of fiscally conservative economics), they have expanded the national government and the debt at an unprecedented rate. There has been way too many pork projects getting passed and far too little good legislation. Our Middle East policy has been thoroughly bungled. The Republican party is full of cowards who just want re-election and won’t stand by their beliefs. The Democrats aren’t much better though; we need to change the two-party system. Both parties are just set up to retain power and not make the positive changes that are so desperately needed.

Since I have had the legal right to vote when I turned 18, I have abstained from participating in our elections because both parties churn out politicians who make me sick. Not only that, but many of the elections we hold are semi- to fully fixed. Thousands of dead people vote in every county in each election and most of them are counted.

Want to know the worst part? I think our horrific political system is probably the best in the world… At least Big Brother isn’t as involved in my life as it is in Europe or South America and I don’t have to worry about being murdered for walking down the street with my girlfriend. What a terrible world we live in.

Time to get in shape

For months now I’ve been talking about getting in shape, but have been really busy and haven’t been able to really do all I have wanted to do. Don’t get me wrong: I still have been lifting 3 days a week and doing occasional cardio. Now though I am going to really step it up and get in great shape for the summer months.

Today I went for a long run during lunch and this evening I’m going to go lift and probably do another half hour of cardio. I need to start doing more abs and cardio and get my six-pack back.

Three years ago, I used ephedra during its last legal period and got incredibly ripped. Ephedra has some side effects though that I didn’t really like (not as sociable, easily agitated), so I am going to be going all natural this time. Also, to clarify for those of you who don’t know, ephedra is just a dietary supplement, like ginseng that raises your metabolism to a higher rate. Some people i know have confused ephedra with steroids before and there is a world of difference. Ephedra has no known side effects except in massive overdoses (heart attacks) and does not cause the large psychological changes that steroids do. However, I am still going to get my six pack with no outside help this time.

I strongly suggest to anyone who reads my blog to join me and get yourselves fit. You will feel better all the time and you will have a healthier life.

Deep Relationships

I have been thinking about relationships a lot lately. Kind of cheesy, yes, but still it’s been on my mind. I am not the type of guy who just likes to just hook up or even have casual friends. Being close to someone and having a deep, meaningful relationship it makes everything else pale by comparison. I almost always have these relationships with people, whether they be family, friends or girlfriends. Typically this results in me having a select, small circle of people who are very close to me and then a big gulf between them and all of my acquaintances and people I don’t spend much time with.

Approaching life with stringent requirements and intense relationships has its ups and its downs. The people that I become close to know that I will never forget about them and will always love and care for them and I know that they will do the same for me. However, when one of us moves away or if its a girlfriend and we break up or if we just get busy, it’s not easy to move on and can be quite painful (which is the reason most people are very guarded against such relationships). Even with these difficulties, I think that these relationships are by far the best way to go. As time passes everything gets better in these relationships; you know each other more and more, your conversations keep improving and you know you can rely upon each other.

In order to have relationships like this, I have discovered that you must be able to do several important things. First and foremost, I have to try my best to be the ideal partner for the other person and trust that they will do the same for me. If you don’t know that the other person is working as hard as you are, you are likely to slack off or give up. Second, everyone is flawed and you have to expect failures along the way and learn how to overlook and forgive problems. If someone messes up (and they always do) and you can’t let it go, you will never be able to have very intimate relationships. Finally, you have to be able to treat the person as they could be, while still accepting them for who they are. When both people do these things, you can do anything together.

Throughout my life these have been my relationships. One or two or rarely three people that I spend all my time with and become best friends with. They don’t always end well, but they are far more satisfying than all of my other relationships. I wouldn’t trade them for the world and will continue to pursue people I respect enough to have them with and keep my guard down so they can come to me as well.

Puyallup- South Hill

I hadn’t seen my old friend Justin White in a while, so I went down to Puyallup today to see him and to do my laundry. When I was about halfway down, I called him and he said that he was at his new girlfriend’s house on South Hill so I just headed straight over there. She lives in the same apartment complex as my little brother’s old girlfriend (small world). Her apartment is $900 for a gigantic two bedroom, which is about a third of the price of a similar place anywhere in Seattle. It kills me because I am looking for a new place right now and Seattle prices are obscene.

When I arrived down here, I went inside and met Justin’s girlfriend: she was really good-looking. Justin has made a major upgrade from his ex-wife. His ex-wife was mean, petty and treated him really badly, but the new girl is really kind-hearted and fun to be around. Plus she’s hot ;). Her, Justin and I went to the junior high school’s field across the street and played outside in the sun for awhile, which was awesome because I haven’t been able to enjoy some of the nicer weather we’ve been having yet. I can’t wait for summer… We came back inside and watched a movie: “idiocracy” which basically describes a lot of the less than intelligent people I used to know. The premise of the movie is that intelligent people usually only have none or 1 or 2 kids, while white trash hicks are always pregnant and because of this the future will be populated by idiots. It wasn’t a work of art, but I was actually entertained. One of Justin’s girlfriend’s named Tony came over and watched the movie with us and I think he was dumber than most of the characters; he kept up a mind-numbing running commentary through the whole movie.

Now that the movie is over, I am just sitting here and waiting for my laundry to get done and watch the depressing scene of Justin and his girlfriend waste their lives playing WoW and their roommate play demos of video games. At least Justin gets to be with his hot girlfriend tonight though, I am just going to drive home and work.

Good Dinner

Last night, Plato and I cooked ourselves a delectable meal.

We went and picked up all the ingredients at Trader Joe’s and then brought them back to my apartment for cooking. At Trader Joe’s we picked up something neither of us had really had before, but decided to experiment with it: Spelt. I think it is some sort of grain and it was packaged with seasonings and all the stuff we needed for it. Spelt requires a strange cooking technique; you start out sauteeing it in oil and then slowly adding water till it plump up to a nice chewy texture. Our main course was white king salmon and we had a tasty tomato salad and a specialty baguette as the side dishes. All of that was washed down with a couple of bottles of white wine. Great meal.

Later, we headed to Kai’s and relaxed there with Plato’s girlfriend, Leah, and her friend Shannon, but I started feeling down after a short while and just went home to bed.

Bad things

I was feeling a little bored, so I decided to list a few products and concepts that I have had problems with or are produced by companies that have poor service or just plain bad ideas:

-Gap commercials are the worst I’ve ever seen. I actually refused to purchase from Gap from a long time because I would become enraged at the world every time I saw one. Recently though, I have discovered that they are the only online store that I know of that carries pants in my size, so they actually have grown on me.

-AOL. AOL should be outlawed, they are probably the biggest spammer internationally of both email and snail mail (everybody has a pile of CDs containing “free trials” of their ripoff service). AOL was able to succeed when the internet was starting because people didn’t understand what was going on. AOL has slow connection speed, awful customer service and is overly expensive and their content blows. In today’s world the only people who still use AOL are geriatrics who don’t know any better. Everyone I know has had bad experiences with this company. Time Warner threw away billions when they bought AOL.

-Oakley sunglasses- They just aren’t that cool. You look like a douche.

-Brokerage services (Merrill, Goldman, etc.) They charge you immense fees for “advice” when it’s been proven that a monkey throwing darts at a wall can do just as well. Get yourself on Scottrade.

-Too tight pants. I know this isn’t really a brand, but my balls are getting squeezed ;).

-8 minute abs videos. You have to lose your fat through cardio work to gain visible abs and that takes a lot longer than 8 minutes a day. Scam.

-Professional sports. I enjoy watching them sometimes, but this is a gigantic time and energy sink for people worldwide. We should not make heroes out of people for throwing a ball far, we need heroes that truly accomplish something: scientists, businessmen, artists. If we gave people $100 million dollar contracts for curing diseases, AIDS and cancer would probably have already been wiped out. Instead we have an army of fat asses sitting on their couches and screaming at their televisions.

-TV Dramas. Just as bad as pro sports, but targetted at women and some men. I know it’s fun to watch the OC, but wouldn’t rather be out there living your own life, falling in love, making yourself vulnerable and truly experiencing what the world has to offer?

-Rat dogs. You are using a living creature as a fashion accessory.