I’m playing in a fantasy football league with my friend Josh Cochran and he keeps coming up with new rules and regulations, so I decided to come up with a few of my own and send them out to the league. Here they are.
Proposed new league regulations:
1. A) Any GM not paying on time should receive 40 lashes from a “cat o’ nine tails” whip.
1. B)League commissioner will be responsible for the administration of this firm, but fair rule. In cases where league commissioner does not pay on time, each member of the league will personally administer 5 lashes.
2. Any GM suspected of making an unfair trade shall report before the WTO commission for sanctions.
3. If a GMs player commits a legal infraction (dog-fighting, betting, drug dealing, murder, etc.), that GM will be suspended for a length of time to be determined by the league commissioner. The purpose of this regulation is to promote the image of the league and ensure good hygiene. In cases where the league commssioner violates this rule, he shall by lynched by an unruly, vigilante mob.
4. Any GM who willfully defeats the Emotional Cripple’s team shall be subject to immediate, unprejudiced termination.
5. Any GM caught complaining about Regulations 1-5 shall be subject to $50 fines, payable to Emotional Cripple’s team.
Please cast your vote by emailing the League.