Adam Roberts

Adam Roberts is one of my earthy friends. Why earthy? Adam Roberts enjoys hippy food, Bob Dylan and cowboy boots. I met Adam Roberts through another cool guy, Plato. The three of us love to sing and dance together, especially when Adam Roberts is playing the guitar.

Adam Roberts used to live in a tent, but it became too cold outside and now he has found another, warmer, place to stay. Adam Roberts is one of the beastliest mountain men that I have met. Adam Roberts accompanied me up to Camp Muir… and left me in his dust even though he was climbing with skis and boots on his back. Adam Roberts is a tank of a man.

No Christmas for the Grinch

The Grinch here is not quite sure what he wants for Christmas. Grinchie doesn’t much like giving presents and when he receives them he feels bad because he didn’t get the other person Christmas presents. Last Christmas, the Grinch offered to cook dinner for several different people for Christmas, but they never took him up on it. The Grinch is worried this year that he might actually have to think of something to buy. Grinchie HATES shopping for himself, much less other people!

That being said, if you want a Christmas present from the Grinch you MUST leave your wish list in the comments. The Grinch also recommends that you can suggest whatever you wish, but make sure at least one item is less than $20 and easily attainable. Since much of his shopping is done online, the Grinch also suggests that you place your list ASAP if you want anything.

Now what does the Grinch want for Christmas? Read the Grinch wish list:

-NOTHING. Don’t get the Grinch a damned thing please. If you insist, read on.

-A good soft steel chef’s knife (6+ inch blade) and sharpening steel. Cost $50-200. Maybe people will eat my cooking more often.

knife-sharpening-steel.gif
-A fifth of Chivas Regal Scotch. Grinchie loves his scotch! $26.99

Chivas regal scotch

-Cheapo Ipod to hold me over 4 or 5 months till I get an Iphone. MAX: $60

Ipod grinch

-Tennis Racket (or 2) and balls. $40-100. Grinchie likes tennis!

Grinch’s Tennis Racket

-Power cord for my stinking external hard drive. Grinch lost his… uuuugh.

-Cash. $100 bills preferably

one hundred dollar bill for grinch

-A national championship for the University of Washington Football team. Priceless

National Championship for UW Football

-Grinchie wants studly male abdominal muscles. Price: Sweat, blood & tears

Grinch needs studly male abdominal muscles

-Wine. Preferably decent.

-Gift card to Nordstroms. Too cheap to spend my own money there.

-A bloody nose.

-A professional leather briefcase.

-Death to those I despise.

-Good gun (shotgun, reliable pistol).

Joel’s Informational Pages

I created a profile on Barack Obama‘s website and am investigating how Barack’s campaign is using this tool to engage more people.

Joel in LinkedIn My recently created profile on LinkedIn, feel free to contact me.

Joel’s Myspace Profile Link to my MySpace profile for anyone who cares to check it out.

Joel’s Facebook Profile Link to my Facebook info… add me!

Yahoo Joel My profile on Yahoo as created when I was 13 lol.

Business Practices Series of short stories.

Joel’s UW Yahoo Random BS about varying topics and not too useful for most folks.

Joel’s Profile on ESPN Information on me from the grand ol’ ESPN network.

Blog Sitemap Directions around Joel’s blog for people who want to read his posts.

Flag Football in Washington Forum for people who want to play touch or flag football.

My website Joel’s primary website.

Psychology Info Bunch of old psychology homework assignments.

Joel’s Pictures Pictures that I have put up on the web.

Flag Football Yahoo sports group for finding info on flag football.

Democratic Dentist Homework assignments from different biology and biz classes

Wind Turbine Info for people interested in wind power.

Alright Info on former politicians

Semi-Interstice More stuff on former politicians

First Thursday Art Stumble

I went on the downtown art walk last night and Bobby Fischer joined me. We started at my office building’s holiday party and had a few Mac & Jacks and then headed off to the galleries. Bobby drank harder than I’ve ever seen him drink (though I’ve only seen him drink a glass of wine or a beer at a time). We had fun checking out the mostly mediocre art and talking to the artists and Bobby kept drinking tough. Finally, he was too drunk to drink any more so we went back to my studio where he promptly flopped on the floor and crawled into the bathroom and threw up all over the tub. Damned gross. He called his friend Tara and simply said, “Help” to her. I got the phone from him and talked her into coming to pick him up and gave her directions.

Moral of the story: Don’t drink with the champ if you don’t know what you’re doing.

Brett Favre and the Zodiac Killer

After work yesterday, I walked up the Fox Sports Grill on 5th & Pike in downtown Seattle and watched the Cowboys-Packers game with Nick Fitzer and a bunch of his friends. The Dallas Cowboys won, while Brett Favre went down with an injured arm. I don’t usually watch much sports and I think it was more entertaining to watch the crowds of office denizens yell at the plasma televisions in the bar and each other than the game itself.

Post game, Nick and his buddies and I went to one of his friend’s condos to watch the Zodiac. The film is a true story about a killer who sent newspapers letters and puzzles about his identity and his murders. Red tape and problems with evidence let him stay free until he died of a heart attack fifteen years later.

I didn’t get home till after midnight and my corporate slaving butt had to get up early, so I’m a bit tired today. I will take a nap after work before I do anything.

King of America: Policy on the Homeless

Living near Pioneer Square gives me an intimate knowledge of the many varieties of bums. Too intimate in my opinion. Yesterday, a short Native American drunk came up to my friend and I as we sat on a park bench and tried talking in very slurred words. I shooed him on his way. He kept trying to talk, so I kept saying, “Shoo shoo, keep moving. We don’t want to talk to you.” The bum got pissed and put up his hands like he wanted to box me, but I just kept shooing him. He eventually wandered off down the street, to go pee on a lamppost or beg for change or harass other innocent bystanders.

Bums are everywhere. There are the bums who sit on the road begging for change, bums who sleep in the doorways of buildings, bums who are drunk or high, bums who are aggressive and bums who combine all of the above. Homelessness is a real problem in major cities and can be caused by many things; mental illness, drug and alcohol abuse, broken homes, laziness and stupidity. Some people just are not capable of independence. However, I have a solution: Homeless cities.

Chronically homeless people (those who have slept on the streets for 3 months or more) will have the option of becoming wards of the state and moved to special cities that are designed to help them live. All will be required to work gainfully in factories or farms attached to the cities and will be monitored at all times. No alcohol or drugs will be allowed and all the bums will be neutered so we don’t have any bum babies running around. Anyone who has been living on the streets for more than two years will be required to move to these areas. Before anyone is taken to a homeless city, they will be tested for mental illnesses. If they are mentally ill, they will be neutered and placed in a mental hospital for the rest of their lives.

The homeless cities will force the homeless to work for their food and shelter. They will be well supervised and will have someone in charge to keep them in line at all times. After working for one year and saving a minimum of $30,000, the homeless will have the option of rejoining regular society or remaining in the homeless city. Anyone who refuses to work in the homeless city will be allowed to starve. If you don’t contribute to your society, you don’t deserve to belong.

My solution may seem harsh, but it will motivate many people to get jobs and force them to quit abusing alcohol and drugs. I think it’s about time that we stop thinking about how sorry we feel for bums and start to feel sorry for those who get harassed by bums.