Tackling Life

My life has generally consisted of short periods of tough challenges followed by long periods of relative stability. I think I am starting to come to the end of an especially extended time of peacefulness and am preparing myself for a struggle. I have some important decisions looming on the horizon and how I handle them will determine my future. My younger brother, Justin Gross, is also about to enter one of these periods as he is supposed to start at the University of Washington as a freshman very soon. Hopefully we will be prepared. I think of these periods of time as being much like tackling practice in football: if you are unprepared or scared or trying to avoid tackling too hard you will get smashed and hurt, but if you go in fully ready and charging as hard as you can, you will come out on top. Watch out baby, here I come!

Joel is currently a Spendthrift Bastard

I usually try and save a good chunk of my income every month and have been good about it through my first 10 months of unemployment. However, over the last 4 months, I have not been paying enough attention to my financial situation and after inspecting my bank statements I have discovered I have over a thousand dollars less today than I did two months ago.

If I disappear for awhile and you can’t get ahold of me, it means I have robbed a bank and the government is trying to hunt me down.

Crazy Dreams

I had the weirdest dreams last night.

I dreamed I was a marine biologist in some absolutely crazy aquarium with fish and sharks I invented in my own head. There was one fish that was 20 tons and just looked like a big bit of gray dough and kept almost squishing me… and Freud would’ve had a field day with this one- there was a shark that if you were in his tank, he would show his domination over you by putting your head in his mouth, but not biting down and then squirting sperm on you and there were a bunch of little sharks that gnawed on your fingers like lapdogs but didn’t do any real damage.

Joel: Homemaker

My grandma and I today went shopping and bought a ton of new furnishings for my apartment. I almost never buy new, I usually go hunting through thrift stores for all of my needs. However, this time I was able to get some good Memorial Day deals, so I bought:

-A big, white microwave,
-A “Torchiere” (fancy lamp)
-A vial of crack cocaine for my homeless buddies
-An upright vaccuum for cleaning my 20 sq ft of floor
-2 sets of dishes (one of which is broken and I have to return)
-A complete set of nice pots and pans
-A knife set, so I can stab myself
-A blow up doll for “companionship”
-A rug for my bathroom floor
-A cutesy fish for holding my toothbrushes

I am starting to feel like Edward Norton in Fight Club. My apartment looks like an Ikea catalogue. Maybe I should blow it up.

I have too many possessions, they are weighing me down. I don’t feel like a free little butterfly anymore. I have 2 enormous TVs (Who wants to buy one?), a mini-fridge, 2 computers, an ancient bed, a solid couch (thanks Melanie Dies), skis, tons of clothing, a broken bicycle (see my earlier post to view my accompanying smashed face), and a ottoman. I should quit my job, give away all my stuff except my bike and my big hiking backpack and go for a ride to the southern tip of South America.