Jordan: My first friend

Jordan Gross is my second brother; he’s 22, married and lives in Kent. I keep telling him that if he is going to live in the boonies and be married at such a young age, he needs to start his army. Pump out dem babies!!! The world record for most children is 69… I think you can beat it!

Since Jordan and I are only 18 months apart in age, he was my very first friend. In preschool, Jordan and I were best friends and played together constantly. We even took baths together and my mom has a picture of the two of us with a poop floating in the middle.


Like my illustrations? 😉

Jordan and I lived together with my parents until I was 14 and moved in with my grandparents. We regrouped in college, and lived together for a year. I sadly hardly ever saw him though because he worked full-time, went to school full-time and any spare time was spent with his then-fiance Meghan. I think part of the problem may have been that Meghan didn’t like to visit us much because I would occasionally terrify her. Poor Meghan. She grew up in a very strict religious household and is pretty sheltered; this summer her, Jordan and I drove up to my grandparents cabin for the family reunion and she made me tell some of my stories as she listened in fascinated horror. I think her and Jordan have started to view me as some sort of walking freak show.

A couple of weeks ago, I went down to Southcenter mall and visited Jordan at his job selling furniture for Bassett. Bassett Furniture is a strange store; they sell lots of fancy furniture… but seem to have a strange obsession with giant black cocks. Seriously. Walking around their store, they had probably 20 statues of rooster’s scattered around. If they didn’t cost $160, I would’ve purchased one for the infamous Black Rooster, Faryar.


Following in his big brother’s footsteps, Jordan has started a blog. He only has 3 posts so far and speaks in very vague terms, but it’s a start.

All in all, Jordan is a hard worker and will be very successful in his life if he keeps putting in the effort I’ve seen him put forth so far. Jordan is by far the brother with the most social skills and can get along with most people. I proudly take credit for helping him develop these skills… Can you imagine having an ass like me for a big brother? I was stubborn and selfish and would pound on him if I got mad about something, so he had to develop diplomatic talents to better work with me and keep me at bay. A lot of those lessons he had to learn the hard way though… I can still remember sitting in the car with him, while he sang songs to bug me and making faces when our parents weren’t looking and becoming so enraged that I would start hitting him lol.

Jordan is a real sharp guy too. He has a good understanding of the world around him and generally is pretty smart about getting what he wants. If I owned a business, I would hire Jordan to work for me. As a personal assistant.. j/k 😉

My brothers and my grandma are the most important people in my life and I would do anything for them. Great people.

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Joel Gross

Joel Gross is the CEO of Coalition Technologies.

2 thoughts on “Jordan: My first friend”

  1. I’m glad to be recognized and to have received a post. Truly it is a great honor to receive such international attention. Also thanks for the link to my blog.

    We had some great times growing up, huh?

    If I happen to see a cock with a broken tip I’ll get it for you at a discounted price. We still need to do lunch soon. Almost through midterms….

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