Randall Gross: A Profile in Cowardice

Note: The person referred to in this blog post is the Randall Gross who resides in Puyallup, WA and works for MultiCare Health system in Tacoma, WA.

The following blog is, as with everything on this website, an opinion of Joel Gross; while facts described are true, the conclusions drawn from those facts are personal, and may not accurately reflect Randall Gross. My law school friends advised me to say that. Furthermore, many of the facts stated cannot be proven because I have no police records , just sweet, sweet memories (other than the instance police responded to a domestic violence incidence at my house that resulted in Randy doing community service).

Randall Gross is my father. Perhaps not biologically, but until I was older, I believed that he was. I lived with him from the time I was born till I was 14 when he supported my meth-addled mother in kicking me out. I have not written this profile of Randy Gross lightly and would not have written it, except I have recently found out that he is treating my little brother Joshua very poorly, just like he treated his other three older sons. I am hoping in writing this that either Randall Gross loses custody of Josh or, much more doubtfully, sees the error of his ways and reforms his behavior. Now it’s time to pour the proverbial can of gas on the bum and light him up.

From the time I was very young, Randall Gross has been controlled by other people. Randy will do anything to please people around him. He was a pastor at Spanaway Assemblies of God (now the Sound Life Church of the Assemblies of God) and humbly took massive amounts of shit from everyone in the congregation… and turned around and dumped it on his own family. Randall Gross was too cowardly to stand up to anyone, but when he came home he was a different person- he took all of his rage and bitterness out on his children. Make no mistake about it; he was verbally and physically abusive. When other people in his life wanted attention he would neglect his own family to go try to make them happy. Randall Gross is a man of zero self-respect and no loyalty. If it is ever to his advantage, he will stab you in the back. Trust me, if he doesn’t hesitate to harm his sons, you don’t stand a chance.

Throughout my childhood, Randall Gross always promised to pay for my college when I was old enough. Shortly before I went to the University of Washington as a freshman, I went and asked him to follow up on his promise and help support me. Being the funny guy he is, he laughed and said okay- then flipped me a dime. I don’t think I have ever been so close to beating someone to death with my bare hands. Fortunately for him, I don’t abuse those who are weaker than me. That is one of the few lessons I learned from him.

For the longest time after I left at 14, I wanted to go back and pound Randy Gross’s face in. I remember talking to friends about it, and the friends being the people they are, offered to come down and help me. If I ever did something like that though, I would want to do it alone, just me and that vile child abuser. Bet you didn’t think that skinny little 11 year old you hit and threw things at and kept in his room for months would ever grow into 6’5” 220 athlete did you? Or that he would expose your darker side to the world?

After spending years away from Randall Gross, I let go of a lot of my ill will towards him and even visited him for a while the summer after my junior year of college. By that time, Randy had gotten remarried to a new woman who dominated him just like my mom used to own him. He had somehow convinced himself that he was a victim of my mom and my brothers. How you get victimized by little children, I don’t know. But I was trying to get around the past and see if I could salvage a relationship with him, so I listened to his sniveling and crying. Randall Gross kept repeating that no one realized how much hurt he had and how he had suffered more than anyone else because of my moms drug use and multiple marriages, including two to him. I’ll give him that, he did go through some shit. Randy Gross is an adult though and could have walked away at any time. Us kids didn’t have any such option and when he got angry and took it out on us we didn’t have any way of leaving. My effort to reconnect with him eventually broke down after he felt insulted by something I told him and he called me and told me he didn’t want to speak to me again and hung up. At that moment, I decided I would never have anything to do with him again; all he ever did was try to hurt me and bring me down. I haven’t spoken to him in around two and half years. I had put Randall Gross and his crimes out of my mind and moved on to a much happier and more satisfying stage of my life, until reports started to trickle in to me that he is maltreating Josh Gross. I don’t care about him any longer, but abusing my younger brother is intolerable. I think the best way to break Randy Gross’s selfish shell is to hit him where it hurts most- his ego. I want him to read this and realize that many other people have read it as well. Hopefully, his friends and coworkers and bosses will exert positive peer pressure that will result in him changing his cruel and neglectful behavior.

After being fired by the Assemblies of God for getting divorced, Randall Gross now works for MultiCare Health system in senior management as the “Director of Human Potential”… a cheesy name for HR director. MultiCare is a non-profit company that operates four local hospitals; Mary Bridge Hospital, Allenmore Hospital, Good Samaritan Hospital and Tacoma General Hospital, along with 90 or so smaller clinics around the Northwest. One of the great ironies of corporate life is that Randy Gross is in charge of helping to manage around 8,000 people in our area, when he failed miserably at managing his own family. He kicked me out at 14, Jordan out at 17, Justin at 16 and hopefully he will get rid of Josh soon too, for Josh’s own benefit. Randall Gross cut off Jordan and Justin as well. I have been talking to my bros and trying to help them understand that they aren’t bad people; Randy is a cruel-hearted yellow little man not worth any of our time. We brothers stick together.

The cause for me writing this article was I heard from various people how Randy’s been treating my little brother. I love my little brothers and grandma more than anything else in the world, and if I thought it would make things better for Josh, I’d gladly go down there and … old comment removed on advice of law school friends…give Josh a great big hug. I hope my friends will not think worse of me for this somewhat vitriolic and depressing article on Randall Gross. My friend Jeremy helped inspire this article, he gave his dad a nicer letter a few years ago. I decided to do the same, but Randy Gross only cares for the opinions of people other than his family so I published it here so others will know of and talk to him about his behavior.

I have repeatedly invited Josh to come live with me, though he’d probably have to share a bed with me in my little Seattle studio and it could get awkward if I brought a woman home. Oh well, I shared a room with Faryar and Fletch through college and just put a pillow over my head when I heard funny noises from them. I also have been working on convincing my grandparents to take him in; this would be the best option for him, but they are getting older and it wouldn’t really be fair for them to take a 3rd Gross boy.

I have become very long-winded, so let me sum up by listing a few more actions of Randall Gross:

-Randy is so unable to be alone he tolerated my mother drinking and doing meth constantly for years. When she got mad at us, she would use him as her hatchet man to come after us… and no matter how wrong she was, he would do it.

-Randall has now cut off his own elderly parents who raised him, along with his brother & sister and nieces and nephews. His father is nearing his deathbed after multiple strokes and his mother is barely able to care for him, but he still won’t talk to them.

-Randy is a Director at a major company making great money, yet refused to help any of his sons with college. As a matter of fact, he was so vindictive to Jordan that he repeatedly contacted the financial aid office and tried to get them to rescind the aid given to Jordan and I. It was only after Jordan and I brought in multiple documents proving Randy didn’t support us as he claimed that we received our university loans.

-Randall Gross a couple years ago got an online MBA from a sketchy internet university: basically one of those deals where you pay for a degree. He tried telling me that he was better than me because he had a 4.0 on his degree, while I only had a measly 3.52 from the University of Washington.

-According to my mom (an unreliable source), he once stood idly by and watched while she got raped on the hood of her car because he was too scared to do anything.

-My grandma told me Josh was offered by his school to participate in their honors program, but because his new wife’s kids didn’t get offered, he said no. Can’t hurt their feelings after all.

-I found out from my younger brothers that after I got kicked out, Randall Gross would denigrate me to them and encourage them to do the same behind my back.

-Anything given to Josh cannot be used by him at Randall’s house. For instance, I gave Josh a dartboard for his birthday and he will not be able to take it home. I also offered to buy Josh a gym membership near his house so he can start working out for football (which Randy won’t allow Josh to play, though he allows his stepson to), but Josh is not allowed to go. Josh is not even supposed to use money he gets from his brothers. Randy Gross tries to isolate Josh as much as possible.

-Randall Gross was a pastor for many years and claims to be a spiritual leader. His actions speak much louder than his public words though; he is on his third marriage, his family life is in ruins and he is the most selfish person I have ever met. On Sunday’s he goes to church and puts on his I-Love-Jesus face and sings and cries and dances, then walks out and violates almost every principle of the Christian faith. I think he believes the fruits of the Spirit are “cruelty”, “negligence”, “selfishness”, “petty hatred”, “prevarication” and “bitterness”.

In conclusion, I recommend that anyone who is friends or coworkers of Randall Gross carefully review your relationship with him. He is a snake in the grass who will attack you when least expect it and will not hesitate to use you if he thinks it will help him advance. If you are his employer I would carefully inspect his work record; he is very good at BSing, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you found that is all he has truly contributed to MultiCare. A man who can’t take care of the culture of his own family surely cannot be expected to shoulder the responsibility of caring for the culture of a large corporation. Is he a leader at your church? Are you sure you want to take spiritual advice from a man who’s heart is as black night? No one who is close to him and knows him respects him; they either manipulate him (his current wife) or avoid him (the rest of his family). Randall Gross is not a man to be associated with lightly.

Logic Loses to Passion

In my life I have come across certain situations in which I could see potentially disastrous results of actions before I engaged in them. For instance, when I was in the 4th grade some kid and I had been arguing and calling each other names. He sucker punched me and ran over and stood next to the teacher watching recess for protection. Logically, I knew trying to do anything to him right in front of a teacher would get me in a lot of trouble especially because it was an overt disregard for authority (which I usually respected… sorta). Instead I charged straight toward the kid as he stood there confidently with an insolent grin on his face and slugged him as hard as I could in the head. I, of course, got in a lot of trouble and I think I may have been suspended. Actually, now that I think back on it, I think I was suspended a lot in grade school. Probably three or four times. I also was suspended once in junior high before I cleaned up my act. Perhaps I wasn’t quite the quiet and respectful kid I envision myself as. Oh well, I have gotten completely off topic. Anyways, my point is that though my brain operates at a high level and tells me what the consequences of my actions are, occasionally my heart disregards the advice and does what it needs to do.

New Underground Music

A few friends have pointed out some underground music they like lately, so I thought I would post a couple here so the rest of you can take a listen. If you’d like, share more bands in the comments.

The Horrors– Introduced to them by Jeremy.

Feist– Also Jeremy recommended. Pop in a good way. Sort of sounds like Fiona Apple.

Menomena– Rachelle recommendation. I like “Rotten Hell”.

Under Byen– Rachelle’s rec. Strange, but interesting.

Bethurum– Rachelle’s boyfriend who does music for Microsoft.

New Subdomain

I have created a new subdomain on my website: psychology.joelx.com

It sucks right now, please don’t bother yourself visiting it. All of my best stuff will always be on joelx.com or joelx.com

There are notes from Sexuality class.

I also have a section on Biology.

A book discussion is also in place for something about a book that was read a while back.

Notes on proper methodologies for breathing during dancing are there.

Who wants to learn about dog personalities?

I know you all are enamored with drugs and alcohol, but read the consequences.

Different genders respond to humor differently. Surprise surprise.

Some interesting articles on jazz dance.

I once took a murder class that wasn’t all that great. Prof sucked.

Review of psychology 303. Booooring.

More psychology stuff from the 315 class.

Psychology 331 has some information.

There can be more psychology stuff found here.

If you want a review of Psych 471 visit this page.

Information can be gleaned from classes.

Research in psychology continues to press forward.

The studying of sal.

Who cares for mr. starks?

Further informations.


I decided to wear all black to work today. I have black cords, a black T-shirt, black shoes and even black socks. The black clothing coordinates well with my black heart. I feel like I’m Batman. Nah na na na… BATMAN!

Sites to visit (don’t)

Some sites you may be interested (don’t bother they all suck) in visiting are:

Extensive psychology articles that discuss all the different aspects of human sexuality, murder and other really fun stuff.

When you have looked at all the psychology information, be sure to go read the awesome stories written by Fletch… Fletch has some real and true writing talent.

If you are wanting to try to save the planet, you should inspect the Wind Turbine Project website. It has lots of cool facts about wind power and energy.

The Democratic Dentist website has tons of cool info on how life is going in the realm of business, politics, people and dentistry.

To learn about the management of brands and other important factoids that can help you make a difference, go check out my new educational website.

The Peak of Narcissism

A dear friend mentioned to me earlier this evening that I should write a blog “on the idea, or possibility that blogs are a symptom of our generation (the “me generation”)’s delusion that we are all interesting enough – great enough, etc. – to be chronicled, and read.” In response to such an interesting query, I decided to have three facets of the diamond that is me reply; my logical side, my romantic side and my meatheaded side. I believe that everyone has many sides to them of which they are generally only able to present one aspect at a time and usually only one part of themselves to any particular individual. So I will show you some of my dazzling beauty by interviewing myself.

Q: Is there a proliferation of self-aggrandizing behavior in the current generation, as represented by many people who have websites and blogs?

Logical Me: Absolutely. I am a prime example of this sort of behavior. Lately, I have churned out an average of two to three blogs a day, 90% of which are complete shit. However, I have been trying to motivate myself to write a diary for years and only write one entry per month, usually when I am depressed. The blog motivates me to write a lot more often and gives me instant feedback from people who care enough about me to read it. I think my writing skills have begun to improve through this practice and may one day come back and rewrite some of the better entries.

Romantic Me: Every person has their own unique perspective to present and we can all learn something from others. For instance, I enjoy reading Jeremy’s blog and occasionally Ashley’s. I wish more of my friends had blogs. If anyone is interested, I would be happy to host your blog on a subdomain of my site. I’ll set it up and everything.

Meatheaded Me: Who uses the internet for purposes other than looking at porn? Waste of time.

The Sock Demon

I finally folded my giant pile of socks today. When I was finished, I had about 40 loners lined up. Where the hell did all their friends go? It’s not like you can easily lose a sock- it doesn’t just ‘fall’ off of your foot after all. I have come to the conclusion that there must exist a Sock Demon. He is much like the Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause or Jesus Christ in that he exists solely to help me deal with a scary reality.