Pirates In Somalia Grow Bolder

Pirates in Somalia have grown increasingly more organized and powerful over the last few years and this year they have set records with the amount of booty they are taking.‚  You may think I’m joking, but unfortunately these pirates have seized over a hundred ships this year alone.‚  A couple of days ago, Somalian pirates captured their biggest prize yet- a Saudi oil tanker carrying over $100 million of oil.‚  The pirates went further than they ever have before- more than 430 miles off of the coast of Somalia to take the aircraft carrier sized ship.‚  The ship, SIrius Star, is now anchored next to 14 other hijacked ships just off the coast of Somalia.

The hijackers cannot just be attacked because they hold the crews hostage until they receive payment, at which time they turn the ship and crew back over.

What should be done about these Somalian pirates?‚  I think that stable governments, such as in Britian, Saudi Arabia and America should launch temporary Coast Guard patrols all along the Somalian coast along with naval support.‚  Every ship coming and going off the coast of Somalia should be stopped and searched to make sure that it isn’t full of pirates.

Another idea might be to send a couple of dummy freighters up the coast of Somalia and when the pirates attack them, send air support to sink the pirates ships.

The best idea would be to hire Johnny Depp to infiltrate the pirates ranks and use his superhuman abilities to destroy them all.

Published by

Joel Gross

Joel Gross is the CEO of Coalition Technologies.

12 thoughts on “Pirates In Somalia Grow Bolder”

  1. This is just irritating. We tried the coast guard patrols approach already. Two centuries ago. I think this was the US’s first (and apparently least conclusive) war.


    That’s right, the USS Enterprise won the day, as always.

    I’m liking the dummy vessels idea. A lot, actually. We should get on that. Wonder why that hasn’t been tried. Bait cars have been phenomenally successful in cutting car thefts.

    I think corporations need their own contracted security forces in international waters. There’s a fairly simple risk benefit analysis that I’d bet would show that a few gunboats per tanker are a small price to pay for actually getting every shipment to port.

    Even a couple 50cal snipers in a crow’s nest (like we have on US Naval vessels) would go a long way to making pirates think twice about going near an unknown ship. It’s a whole different decision when they know for a fact that some of them will be killed before they even get on the ship.

    That approach is probably even cheaper than insurance in the long run, since insurance doesn’t actually lower the risk of loss; just spreads it around. What’s the problem with that? War crimes lawsuits? All those Blackwater people are ex military anyway; I’d trust them.

    Man it’s a slow work day.

  2. I definitely am an advocate of corporate armies. It would be pretty entertaining to see the Home Depot Navy go sink the ironclad ship run by the Lowe’s Navy or perhaps the Chevron Marines prevent the nationalization of their oil wells in South America.

  3. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not talking about corporate armies warring. The same rules would apply between companies at home; a bunch of your people, under orders, kill a bunch of their people, bad things happen. Lawsuit for billions. Initiating company goes bankrupt. And pays plaintiff’s legal fees.

    One of your people kills a pirate who intends to take them hostage? Nothing wrong with that. Self-defense, albeit by the very well-armed.

  4. Actually, funny you should mention Chevron; I actually wrote a paper in Business Ethics arguing for Chevron’s right to have a para-military presence at their facilities in South America, to protect their property. I don’t see the problem, as long as they stay on their land. Kind of hard for an army to run amok when they’re not allowed outside the fence.

  5. I agree with no corporate on corporate wars. However, can corporations defend their legal interests in countries where the governments are stealing their property?

  6. Of course they have a right to. Any group of individuals has the right to defend their basic rights (life, liberty, property) against aggressors (See Atlas Shrugged). What was the American Revolution but a bunch of merchants and farmers taking up arms against their ‘legitimate’ government, when that government tried to take too much of their stuff?

    “Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it”

    I don’t think Chevron would need to go as far as regime change (the CIA, NSA do that on their behalf); just defending their property. If Venezuela wants to pay Chevron to move their property out of the country, or wants to purchase it at market value, no problem. But groups of individuals do not somehow get more rights (i.e. the right to steal) simply by virtue of their numbers. Rights are not determined by a majority vote.

    At a practical level, I’d take 50 ex-Seals over half the Venezuelan army any day. Provided one of them was Chuck Norris.

  7. We pirates are much more difficult to defeat than one might think. During non-raiding hours, we find safe haven with poor fishing towns and villages where our ransom money buys us relaxation, and provides a needed boost to local economies. And of course with the raids, its easy for our “mother ships” (we prefer “Flag Ships of Amazingness”)to disappear amongst the significant international shipping presence in the Gulf of Aden and other areas.

    Our small speedy boats (“Racing Ships for Wealthiness”) are easy to maneuver and allow us to board our intended captives’ boats within a matter of minutes.

    We’re well enough armed to hold off helicopters (“Flying Ships of Bothersomeness”) and other smaller Coast Guard cutter type boats (“Annoying Ships for Safety-Mindedness”). Course when that first rate navy of India gets involved, we’re shit out of luck!

  8. They should just have guards on the ships carrying AK47’s and these guards should have a “no hostage policy”. Thats what they do on IranAir flights. On every flight they have 2-3 “undercover” guards carrying AK47’s. Their sole purpose is to make sure the flight arrives safely at the destination. If the plane is hijacked and the terrorists have hostages they have the auhority to kill the terrorists and the hostages. They only have one goal and that is to kep the flights safe and nothing can get in their way. Basically terrorists have no leverage what so ever. Thats why IranAir has ever been hijacked.

  9. Actually BR, I think the reason no IranAir flight has been hijacked is because all of the potential hijackers are Iranian anyways! Why hijack your own plane?

  10. HAHAHA…very funny. Actually as you probably know none of the 9/11 hijackers or the suicide bombers in Israel or England or Spain were Iranians. They were all Arabs from either egypt, saudi arabia, lebanon, syria, palestine and maybe Jordan.

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