Sympathy comes from experience. When you have never had something happen to you, you have a difficult time emotionally relating to those who have had it happen. As all of my two readers probably know, I went through a painful breakup a while back. I really had no idea that it would hurt this much before it happened and now that it has, I have a much deeper appreciation for what some of my friends have gone through in the past. I was clueless as to what it was actually like to lose someone I really cared for (this was the first time I was actually in love). When Faryar had his ex-girlfriend cheat on him, I had no idea how he felt and was pretty brash. I remember making a joke to the effect “the player finally got played”… now I can see that that was really fucked up. But I didn’t know any better at the time, which is probably why he didn’t punch me. What really blows me away is how rough it must have been on Jeremy (and also Rachelle) when he and Rachelle broke up for the first and second times- they were together for a really long time and actually lived together for a period of time. I’m amazed that he managed to pick himself back up and keep trudging on after that one.

I wonder how many other experiences I’ve downplayed thus far, but will go through in the future? The saying, “walk a mile in a man’s shoes” really starts to hit home.

The only thing you can really do when this situation happens is to try to learn as much as you can from what you did wrong (and right) in this relationship and try to make myself a better person for the next lady who comes into your life. I most assuredly have a lot to learn still.

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Joel Gross

Joel Gross is the CEO of Coalition Technologies.

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