Michael Arrington of TechCrunch posted yesterday that Tshirthell.com is claiming that it is shutting its doors due to receiving too much annoying hate mail.‚ I actually recently joined the Tshirthell.com affiliate program and put some links on my site, so I am rather interested in this news.‚ I seriously doubt that Tshirthell.com found Sunshine Megatron (the businessman formerly known as Aaron Landau Schwarz) is quitting because he pissed a couple of morons off.‚ Instead, I have a few different theories on the REAL REASON WHY TSHIRTHELL.COM IS SHUTTING DOWN:
- During my short tenure as an affiliate to Tshirthell.com, I have sent a hell of a lot of visitors to their website and not had one conversion.‚ My opinion is that Tshirthell.com has been scamming its affiliates and is afraid of being investigated by the authorities for fraudulently hiding conversions.
- Sunshine Megatron has decided to change his name again to Bernard Madoff and go into the investments business where there is way more money to be made screwing people.
- America’s newly socialist government has determined that Tshirthell.com’s t-shirts are not appropriate for the populace and have made it clear to Mr. Megatron that he should shut down before we torture him in an overseas prison for behavior detrimental to the public good.
- Sunshine Megatron may have been hiding taxes from the federal government like he was hiding conversions from affiliates… and the federal government is way less lenient when it is getting screwed than when others are getting screwed.
- Tshirthell.com was purchased by a religious zealot who hated the crude T-shirts and wanted to shut the site down.‚ Sunshine Megatron didn’t want to have to admit that he was selling out, so he claimed to be shutting down for different reasons.
Whatever the real reason is that Tshirthell.com is shutting down, it is sad to see it go.‚ I thought the t-shirt slogans on the site were hilarious.‚ They had T-shirts with slogans such as “Men Who Wear Sandals Get What They Deserve” with a picture of Jesus on the cross, “My Life is a Very Complicated Drinking Game”, a picture of a woman with the line “I Should Be In the KITCHEN!”, and a sketch of Barack Obama with the line “So, We cool now?”.‚ HHAHAHA.‚ Great stuff.
On another note, how cool is naming yourself “Sunshine Megatron”?‚ I wish I had thought of that first.‚ Any suggestions on what I could rename myself that would be equally awesome?