Best of

I woke up this morning and went to the bathroom to do my daily duties and while I was there I picked up my roommates old copy of “The Daily” which had a multi-page article on the “Best of Seattle”. Like most articles in “The Daily” it was one of the poorest written articles I have ever read. The research sucked (it was probably written by a freshman who had only visitted the Ave in his whole tenure in Seattle) and the writing was terrible. So I have decided to write my own “Best of Seattle”. Read on.

-Best park: Gasworks park has gorgeous views of downtown, lots of green grass to play on and a high hill with a cool art installation on top. Not to mention the old industrial plant which is intriguing to explore.

-Best cheap Chinese restaurant (w/ Cocktails!)- The Seven Seas: it’s location in a tacky building on Lake City Way and trashy customers do nothing to take away from the fact that this place rocks. Great tasting food in large quantities for low prices and the best part is that you can eat it in their lounge in the back while sipping on cocktails. I have walked in hungry and sober before and walked back out full and quite tipsy with only a $40 tab for two people. Awesome.

-Best cafe: I am not qualified to judge this as I have only visited a few, but my favorite so far is probably the Trabant on 45th. They have a cool atmosphere and lots of open mike nights for your viewing pleasures.

-Best Gym: The WAC downtown. Gorgeous high end country club with a full gym and a cool bar and restaurant all located right in the middle of downtown. Membership is by invitation only. Fuckers.

-Best Bars: I am going to have to break this down into a few sections.
-Best Bar for hanging out in the U-district: Kai’s. Chill place with inexpensive drinks.
-Best Bar on Capitol Hill: My favorites are the War Room or the Cha Cha, depends on whether you want a wild dance party or chill conversation spot.
-Best Bar for getting smashed: Earl’s on the Ave. 2 $4 drinks are enough to put away most people (and there are those who’ve gone done for the count with less).
-Best Bar for seeing and being seen: Amber in Belltown. Everybody is well-dressed and beautiful, there are attendants in the bathroom to help you wipe your ass and bartenders dressed in black suits. Expensive as hell.

-Best Amusement: the 9-hole golf course by Green lake. $8 to rent a pitching wedge and a putter and a ball and go with your friends around this small course (most holes are 80 yards or so) and have some fun.

-Best local beach: Madison Park is packed all summer long with trendy hipsters, frat boys, families and sexy ladies outside tanning in the sun or swimming out to the diving dock. I recommend you bring a football & frisbee, but that’s just me.

Hopefully this guide will be more helpful to you than that piece of crap from “The Daily”.

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Joel Gross

Joel Gross is the CEO of Coalition Technologies.

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