Category: Joel

I have never left the United States, except for a couple short trips north to Canada, yet I still have friends all over the world I remain in very close contact with thanks to technology. At this very moment, I am talking to one of my closest friends who now lives in Iran, another good friend who lives in China and my little brother at UW.… read more “Multinational Man”

I could…

-go to happy hour with coworkers.
-plock out my eyeballs with a spoon.
-tie fletch up with duct tape, get him drunk and then sell him to a homeless woman for a 16 oz. Natty Ice.
-work, work, work.
-finish reading Atlas Shrugged.
-smoke the Crackalicious and fly around Seattle like Peter Pan.
-eat a cougar.… read more “What to do this evenin’?”

I was hanging out with Jesse and Jason last night while they were getting ready to move and I ended up getting a whole bunch of clothes from them that fit me… which is rare.

Out of that, I pieced myself together an 80’s outfit to wear to work today. I thought about wearing my priest outfit, but I thought that people might get offended by it so wussed out.… read more “80’s Halloween Outfit”

Once, I cheerfully awaited her constant calls. Every text message received was instantly replied to. We talked constantly from the time we woke up, till sleep hit us at night. We spent dozens of hours on the phone. Stolen lunches and nights were spent wrapped up in each others arms. Snuggling was tight and comfortable and happy.… read more “Pulling”

… when I go through rough spots, I forget that I am a god. It’s nice to be reminded of the truth.

Fletch and I went to Value Village last night shopping for our halloween outfits. Fletcher is going as a 70’s porn star and has grown out a very sketchy mustache for it. I also picked out a stellar outfit, which I shall reveal in pictorial form after I wear it. Look forward to it.

After gathering our gear, we went to Gorditos for a couple of massive burritos.… read more “Halloween Costume Found”

The current abode of the future King of America. The view is from Google’s Satellite images and shows my apartment and the homeless park nearby. You can see Washington, Main and 6th all in this picture. The graveyard is where I store my bodies after I hack them up in my bathtub. Don’t ask.

I am in need of a halloween costume. I have been trying to think of some good ideas for halloween costumes, but I can’t decide on anything. Last year, I went as Heath Ledger from Brokeback Mountain in partnership with Fletch who went as Jake Gyllenhaal. This year Fletcher is going as a 70’s porn star, so I either have to find a new costume partner or go it solo.… read more “Halloween Costume”

So look below this post to the one I did on Joel Emoticons. See all of those pics? I got them using them off of my online photo album using this screen print program that just copies a piece of your screen and saves it. Apparently, I didn’t set it up right and not only did it save the images to my desktop, but it printed them.… read more “UUUUUGggghhhhhhh”

I am at work now and the two coworkers in my office play dance and comedy videos nonstop. We just had an extended conversation about the “intersnatch”. Don’t ask.