I could…
-go to happy hour with coworkers.
-plock out my eyeballs with a spoon.
-tie fletch up with duct tape, get him drunk and then sell him to a homeless woman for a 16 oz. Natty Ice.
-work, work, work.
-finish reading Atlas Shrugged.
-smoke the Crackalicious and fly around Seattle like Peter Pan.
-eat a cougar.… read more “What to do this evenin’?”
I was hanging out with Jesse and Jason last night while they were getting ready to move and I ended up getting a whole bunch of clothes from them that fit me… which is rare.
Out of that, I pieced myself together an 80’s outfit to wear to work today. I thought about wearing my priest outfit, but I thought that people might get offended by it so wussed out.… read more “80’s Halloween Outfit”
HOT! HOT! HOT!
When I take over my duties as King of America, I will be instituting a series of policies meant to resolve the major issues facing our nation today. Today, I am going to discuss my beautiful solution that kills two big problems with one stone: Crime and lack of entertainment.
America right now has over 2.2 million people currently in prison.… read more “King Of America: Policy on Sports & Crime”
The New England Patriots right now look like the greatest football team ever assembled. They not only have one of the most potent offenses, but their defense is smothering.
I watched their game on Sunday against the Washington Redskins (4-2) a good team with a top defense. Not only did Tom Brady rip them for 52 points, but they pitched a shutout until garbage time in the 4th quarter with 3 minutes left and defensive backups playing when the Redskins got a touchdown.… read more “Absolute Domination”
Some people say that money is the root of all evil. Those people are wrong. Money is simply a representation of man’s labor. Money is a tool that enables one man to create a good or service and then voluntarily trade it for another man’s good or service. A man who earns his fortune deserves it and should be proud of his virtue that is represented by the money he made.… read more “Achievement”
Once, I cheerfully awaited her constant calls. Every text message received was instantly replied to. We talked constantly from the time we woke up, till sleep hit us at night. We spent dozens of hours on the phone. Stolen lunches and nights were spent wrapped up in each others arms. Snuggling was tight and comfortable and happy.… read more “Pulling”