King of America

I have decided that I am going to be the first King of America.

King of America will be a new branch of the government like the Presidency, Supreme Court and Legislature; only it will reside above these. Why do we need a new branch of the government you ask? Every so often someone needs to just step up and make decisions without worrying about what anyone thinks.… read more “King of America”

BCS Blows

The current methodology of ranking college football teams, the BCS standings is a travesty. A computer formula that incorporates a human poll decides which two teams play for the national championship. The problem arises when certain teams don’t play any difficult opponents and go undefeated, like Ohio State last year (which got completely blown out by Florida).… read more “BCS Blows”

Halloween Costume Found

Fletch and I went to Value Village last night shopping for our halloween outfits. Fletcher is going as a 70’s porn star and has grown out a very sketchy mustache for it. I also picked out a stellar outfit, which I shall reveal in pictorial form after I wear it. Look forward to it.

After gathering our gear, we went to Gorditos for a couple of massive burritos.… read more “Halloween Costume Found”

Joel’s Apartment


The current abode of the future King of America. The view is from Google’s Satellite images and shows my apartment and the homeless park nearby. You can see Washington, Main and 6th all in this picture. The graveyard is where I store my bodies after I hack them up in my bathtub. Don’t ask.


For genuine proof that God exists, follow the instructions:

1. Relax and concentrate on the 4 small dots in the middle of the picture for 30-40 seconds.
2. Then, take a look at a wall near you (smooth, white surface)
3. You will see a circle of light developing.
4. Start blinking your eyes a couple of times and you will see a figure emerge…


Facebook Stake Purchased By Microsoft

Microsoft got ripped off, investing $240 million dollars in Facebook and only getting a 1.6% stake in return. The deal values Facebook at $15 billion. Mark Zuckerberg, the 23 year old owner of a 20% stake, is now worth about three billion dollars. Hot damn, I need to get my own business going at a much faster rate.… read more “Facebook Stake Purchased By Microsoft”

Halloween Costume

I am in need of a halloween costume. I have been trying to think of some good ideas for halloween costumes, but I can’t decide on anything. Last year, I went as Heath Ledger from Brokeback Mountain in partnership with Fletch who went as Jake Gyllenhaal. This year Fletcher is going as a 70’s porn star, so I either have to find a new costume partner or go it solo.… read more “Halloween Costume”