Friend in Iran: Secret Code

If you say the first part, you mean the second… so if you say “I walked the dog” it means “I masturbated furiously”.

“The trees are watching me” means “The Iranian secret police followed me home”

“I found a cherry tree” means “I had sex with a hairy Persian virgin”

“A stick poked me” means “I am now involved in the underground gay scene”

“Allah save us all” means “The government is torturing me for my crimes”

“A bounty of joy has come from my conversion to Islam” means “I am laundering cash”

“A bone fell from the sky” means “I went to a wedding and took home three Persian virgins and made sweet love to them for a solid week.… read more “Friend in Iran: Secret Code”

Busy Bee

Sorry I haven’t posted for a while… I am buried in work.

I am trying to prepare a business proposal and mockup website for the TVI before my company’s October 18th board meeting and I have a ton of stuff to do. I also recently had a friend contact me to build a website for him, so I am trying to juggle a lot of responsibilities.

What a turd

Danny Bonaduce (crazy radio host who had a television show about his addiction to steroids) threw a former “Survivor” reality show winner over his back and smashed his face open at a reality show. The guy had a bunch of teeth broken out. Watch the video.

Flag football creamage

My flag football team got smashed tonight 40-18. I was feeling really out of it and woke up with this sharp pain in my neck this morning so I can’t turn my head. Needless to say, I played very poorly. I got a couple of sacks and broke up some passes, but I also let their not super-fast QB get around the corner a couple of times and on one my whole team just gave up and he went 40 yards for an untouched touchdown.… read more “Flag football creamage”

USC vs UW

Gametime! I’m going to get some snacks and watch it on my couch. So much better than sitting in stands where you can’t see anything. I may go meet Fletch and some other friends at a bar on Ravenna at halftime though.

Gundy’s Rage

I watched the end of a great football game last week between Texas Tech and Oklahoma State University, which OSU won by a hair at the end. But after the game was when the real fireworks started: Gundy, head coach of OSU, came to do his post-game press conference and instead of celebrating his win on national television, he absolutely tore the head off of a columnist who had wrote a negative article about Gundy’s former starting quarterback whom he had just benched the previous week.… read more “Gundy’s Rage”

The High Cost of Chin Repairs

My bill from the University of Washington Medical Center just came.

Stitches: $219
Numbing shot: $155.85
Tetanus shot: $15.50

AND

3 hours of waiting in the emergency room:

$873.00

What the fuck? That room cost $300 an hour?!!?! I am in the wrong business!

The total bill came to $1,044.35

My bicycle cost $100. Helmet $30.… read more “The High Cost of Chin Repairs”