Lia Shiala Interview

Lia is named after Lia Point. Yes, I know you were asking that question.

Lia is currently on drugs and does not feel clever, so please forgive her in advance.

Lia is a 20 year old 5th year senior at the University of Washington. She got in at the ripe young age of 16 years old, which is also the age of consent in the state of Washington. I would have been in the frat at that point, and I’m saddened I was unable to find her when she was still fresh and hadn’t yet had her soul crushed by evil. Her favorite quote is “the house of delusions is cheap to build, but drafty to live in.”

Joel: “Do you think I can drink this half gallon of milk?”

Lia: “No.”

Joel: “If I finish it in 20 minutes, can I put a topless photo of you up with the interview?”

Lia: “NO!!!!!”

Joel: “How about if I do it in 10 minutes and the photo is ‘tactfully edited’ and put a password on it?”

Lia: “Ummm…..Uhhh…. Fiiine…”

Joel: “I am the best negotiator ever.”

Lia: “I feel sick.”

Joel: “Why does God hate man?”

Lia: “He doesn’t.”

Joel: “Want me to steal you one of these 40″ computer screens?”

Lia: “No, the size of the screen doesn’t matter. I am satisfied with smaller.”

Joel: “Sounds sexual.”

Lia: “My opinions of size and sex are different than my opinions of the size of a computer screen.”

Joel: “I win! YAY! awww my stomach is full.”

Lia: “Tickle FIGHT!!!”

Joel: … Starts to sob…

Lia: “I hope you feel sick and awful”.. “I never even wanted to make a bet in the first place.. I hate you”

Joel: “Hehehehehhe”

*Photo coming as soon as I get my camera and come back*

Joel: “What is your IQ? What is your GPA?”

Lia: “IQ tests are not accurate and it doesn’t matter anyways. 3.82 in the honors program double majoring in Poli Sci and English.”

Joel: “No wonder you’re a fifth year senior… double major and a year abroad.”

Joel: “I’m full but I still feel thirsty.”

Lia: ” Want some milk?”

Joel: “Uggghh”

Lia: TICKLE JOEL

Joel: “Your boobs are going on my website! hahha”

Lia: “Uggggh”

Joel: “How many times have you been drunk in your life?”

Lia: “I haven’t counted.”

Joel: “What is your favorite movie on Youtube, since you’ve seen all of them?”

Lia: “There’s a movie of a cat.. a home movie.. and the guy makes a loud noise and the cat levitates up off the bed and shoots out and splats into the wall with it’s legs out and crashes. But I’m bad about favorites, I usually don’t have one. I have lots of thinigs I like in different genres, but not favorites. It’s kind of like the question ‘is shylock a victim or a villain?’ ”

Joel: ” … Who’s Shylock?”

Lia: Giggles in a judgemental way.

Lia: “Shylock is a Shakespeare character from the Merchant of Venice who is treated very badly, but is also a bad man. It’s a tragi-comedy.”

Lia: “Blah… blah blah blah”

Lia: “… You’re not writing this whole thing down are you?”

Joel: “No”

Lia: “Oh great. You’re just writing down the stuff that makes me look stupid.”

Joel: “No, I am trying to engage my audience first and then they can get to know the deeper Lia.”

Lia: “They wouldn’t like the real Lia?”

Joel: “Nope.”

Lia: “Misplaced modifiers are really funny.”

Joel: “How did you motivate yourself for the triathlon last week?”

Lia: “I’m a good swimmer, so I thought I could do it if I could get myself to run.. I can bike, but I don’t like running. A secondary, more personal motivation for me was talking to the mother of my friend who died and she wanted me to live my life in a better way, being inspired by Natalie’s memory. I really also feel like not being involved in competitive swimming anymore, it’s good to have fitness goals. So I had a goal to train for and work towards and it was helpful because I didn’t feel a lot of pressure to win. I let go of my fear of losing and pride, and just did my own thing. A great experience, although it did weaken my immune system for the mono to set in. I am a badass because I did a triathlon with mono haha.”

Joel: “It’s a good thing to have fitness goals. Congratulations.”

Lia: “I’m fading. (She currently has mono and tonsillitis)”

Joel: Okay, we can continue this later.

Lia: “No, I’m perking up a little bit. I can feel my half a vicodin kicking in.”

Joel: “Ok…”

Joel: “Double or nothing on the milk?”

Lia: “No.. no more gambling today.. I already lost enough.”

Joel: “If both Dan and Trevor (2 of her sorta ex-bf’s because they both moved away and not because anything “ended” perse) came here and propositioned you, which one would you pick?”

Lia: “Dan was always going to be a short-term relationship, he was a bit younger (18) and he’s about a year and a half younger. Dan and I were really compatible when we were with each other, but when he was with his friends he was really immature and it annoyed me. Trevor is about a year older and I know him really, really well. We dated for about two years and there is just stuff you know about people when you have been that close. He also is not quite so unrealistic.. Dan worshipped me, but Trevor had a more realistic view… I don’t think any person is worth the kind of attention Dan was giving me. I think it was really high intensity and it wouldn’t have lasted. So if I had to pick someone it would probably be Trevor.”

Joel: “What is a question that would incise into your soul?”

Lia: “Ask me how I feel about lying?”

Joel: “How do you feel about lying?”

Lia: “I think I’m more honest about lying than most people.. if you can say that. It’s not possible to be perfect. There are times when I do things and I think I should feel guilty, but I don’t. People would disagree with the way I think about things. Though I have really contradictory standards… I both lie and I’m honest about lying. The least healthy people are those who claim to not lie. That is why religion can be so bad- people don’t take responsibility for themselves, they make excuses. You live a much less fulfilling life if you can’t be accountable for yourself. My biggest strength is Intrapersonal intelligence; I know what is going on inside of me. ”

Joel: “I don’t feel guilty when I kill.”

Joel: “Did you ever play video or computer games?”

Lia: “Actually, yes. I once played Age of Empires 2 and I enjoyed it for the time I did. I am very self-conscious about playing video games because I wasn’t raised on it and people have a hard time teaching me about it because I have never even handled a controller. It is incredibly frustrating and I have even cried. The biggest fight Trevor and I have ever had were when we played the Band of Brothers game. I never quite forgave him for it. Though that isn’t what it was really about… it was because problems had built and built and the fight was more about the way we interacted and communication issues than his inability to teach me a video game lol.”

Lia: “Do you know that Led Zeppellin song “Communication Breakdown”? hahaha… I am amused at the lead singer when he isn’t singing, he doesn’t play the guitar, so he just stands there looking very awkward.”

Joel: ” Would you have sex with Ian McKellen? (The famous Shakespeare actor)”

Lia: “No, he’s gay.”

Joel: “What if he was straight?”

Lia: “Then yes, if he was a lot younger.”

WCFL Proposed Regulations

I’m playing in a fantasy football league with my friend Josh Cochran and he keeps coming up with new rules and regulations, so I decided to come up with a few of my own and send them out to the league. Here they are.

Proposed new league regulations:

1. A) Any GM not paying on time should receive 40 lashes from a “cat o’ nine tails” whip.
1. B)League commissioner will be responsible for the administration of this firm, but fair rule. In cases where league commissioner does not pay on time, each member of the league will personally administer 5 lashes.

2. Any GM suspected of making an unfair trade shall report before the WTO commission for sanctions.

3. If a GMs player commits a legal infraction (dog-fighting, betting, drug dealing, murder, etc.), that GM will be suspended for a length of time to be determined by the league commissioner. The purpose of this regulation is to promote the image of the league and ensure good hygiene. In cases where the league commssioner violates this rule, he shall by lynched by an unruly, vigilante mob.

4. Any GM who willfully defeats the Emotional Cripple’s team shall be subject to immediate, unprejudiced termination.

5. Any GM caught complaining about Regulations 1-5 shall be subject to $50 fines, payable to Emotional Cripple’s team.

Please cast your vote by emailing the League.

Advice to UW freshmen, especially Justin…

… if he actually goes this year.

The University of Washington is an excellent school with a great balance of academics and a fun social scene. There are tons of great people and more groups and activities to be involved with than you have ever experienced before. Here are a few things I recommend you do while at UW in order to have the best possible experience:

-Be outgoing and be willing to befriend people who you wouldn’t usually talk to. You’ll meet some lions in sheeps clothing.

-Don’t start school with a girlfriend. Your wifey will make your college experience much less enjoyable. You will talk to her for hours on the phone every night telling each other how much you miss one another. My friend Richard did this and ended up not liking school at all. Being single and free will give you much greater independence to try new things.

-Party like a rockstar, but never neglect your studies. Remember you need to have a good college GPA in order to get a good job. Your community college GPA is meaningless, all people care about is how you do at UW.

-Take classes outside your comfort zone. I especially recommend Logic, Law and philosophy courses.

-You will have tons of free time, make use of it by working out at the IMA (Intramural Activities Center). It’s a great gym with lots of free and very cheap classes, basketball, tennis, etc.

-Pick a practical major and take classes you want for fun on the side; you will graduate and then will want a good job. Don’t end up flipping burgers at McD’s like a certain brother of ours lol. For instance, I was a business major, but took lots of english and philosophy classes because I was interested in those subjects. Look closely at Business, Engineering and Bio (if you want to be a doctor).

-Try as many new things as you can. There is a sailing club, rock climbing club, skiing club, etc.

Anybody else who went to UW want to add anything to this?

Richard Schreiber aka “Shannon”- Quick Profile

Richard Schreiber was one of my roommates while I was in the fraternity. Like Trey Wattson, he was a year younger than me. Shannon Schreiber was the type of guy everyone loved, funny and smart. He knew how to push people’s buttons to win them over. I respect Richard Schreibers people skills and his charisma. Mr. Schreiber is also an excellent budding writer. Shannon transferred schools after his freshman year from UW to Santa Clara to be closer to his girlfriend (who he later broke up with) and his family. I had an interview with Chevron about a year and a half ago that turned into a notorious adventure and I have a lot of other stories involving Richard, however I need his permission to publish them here for people’s entertainment. Shannon, send me a message or call me if you’re okay with me putting something up. I’d like to do an interview… look at the interviews I have done with Faryar Faramarzi or Arcadia Corbett for examples.

Joel got suckered by Metropolitan Park Apts.

I moved yesterday from the old condo on Eastlake with big, gay Brent to my new studio on 6th and Washington at the Metropolitan Park Apartments with a kind friend’s assistance.

Buyer’s remorse has started to set in already. I am paying $925 rent + $75 parking for the new studio. Don’t get wrong, I think I will enjoy living there; it’s just that I’m paying 20-35% more than I should be for what I’m getting. If I had put more thought into it and not been hurried, I probably would’ve kept looking. The Metropolitan Park Apts complex is located at 601 S Washington St. Seattle, WA 98104 and can be reached at 206-682-7600. The secured building has a nice rooftop deck, a small gym with a sauna and a manned front office. My studio is small, about 15 ft x 25 ft.. around 400 sq ft, though they advertised it as 500. I have new carpets and the appliances are okay, but the place has seen better days. The greatest benefit for me is that I am now a mere 6 blocks from work. I have a porch overlooking the street outside with some pleasant trees and a little park to look at… along with tons of sketchy homeless people. While I was moving in, I must’ve seen a couple dozen bums meandering up and down the road. I think I’m going to have to buy a can of mace or a gun to be on the safe side lol. I have a 6 month lease and will probably move out once its up.

Pictures will be coming soon, once I get internet and my computers up and running.

Enjoying the moment

I am a driven, ambitious person and I generally surround myself with similar people. My friends are very intelligent people who are rapidly forging themselves into great successes. Many of them, myself included, never seem to be satisfied with what we have achieved so far. I think that this is a good thing, but we also need to pause to enjoy what we have and the moment we are in.

I am grateful for what life has given me. I went through some hardships when I was younger, but without those, I don’t think I would be able to fully appreciate the quality of life that I now have. I don’t have much stability, but that’s not what I want at this point. I have a solid job at an interesting start-up company, an awesome group of friends, romance, great health and I live downtown in beautiful Seattle. Eventually, I want to get an MBA or JD.. or both, make one hell of a lot of money, find my “twwwuuue wuv” (Princess Bride haha), travel the world, improve my writing, and try as many new experiences as I can.

How to get more visitors and traffic on your blog or website

Are you looking to get more people to visit your website and wondering how you can drive search engine traffic through your blog? Well, you’ve come to the right place for some basic tips.

First, you need to decide what keywords you want to rank for. Do you want people searching for “purse” to come to your website or people searching for “specialty coach bag”? Usually this is fairly intuitive, but there are some helpful research tools out there to tell you how often people search on a certain topic. You can use Google AdWords tools or Yahoo’s keyword suggestion tool or smaller organization’s tools like Wordze.

Now you’ve decided that you want the search engine results page to return your website in the #1 position for “purse”. If you want to rank for a competitive query, you need to have lots of copy (writing) that contains the keyword “purse”. You want to get the word “purse” in as many times on your webpage as possible, without spamming. So place the word “purse” in your title tags, meta tags, headers, subtitles and the actual content itself.

Once your web copy has been written and is on the page, you need to take care of your internal linking. Make sure the “purse” webpage has links pointing to it from every page on your website with the anchor text “purse”.

To finish up, you need to get other websites to link to your website with the anchor text “purse”. You can do this by providing helpful information about purses and hoping people link to you or by asking friendly webmasters to give you links.