Lia is named after Lia Point. Yes, I know you were asking that question.
Lia is currently on drugs and does not feel clever, so please forgive her in advance.
Lia is a 20 year old 5th year senior at the University of Washington. She got in at the ripe young age of 16 years old, which is also the age of consent in the state of Washington. I would have been in the frat at that point, and I’m saddened I was unable to find her when she was still fresh and hadn’t yet had her soul crushed by evil. Her favorite quote is “the house of delusions is cheap to build, but drafty to live in.”
Joel: “Do you think I can drink this half gallon of milk?”
Lia: “No.”
Joel: “If I finish it in 20 minutes, can I put a topless photo of you up with the interview?”
Lia: “NO!!!!!”
Joel: “How about if I do it in 10 minutes and the photo is ‘tactfully edited’ and put a password on it?”
Lia: “Ummm…..Uhhh…. Fiiine…”
Joel: “I am the best negotiator ever.”
Lia: “I feel sick.”
Joel: “Why does God hate man?”
Lia: “He doesn’t.”
Joel: “Want me to steal you one of these 40″ computer screens?”
Lia: “No, the size of the screen doesn’t matter. I am satisfied with smaller.”
Joel: “Sounds sexual.”
Lia: “My opinions of size and sex are different than my opinions of the size of a computer screen.”
Joel: “I win! YAY! awww my stomach is full.”
Lia: “Tickle FIGHT!!!”
Joel: … Starts to sob…
Lia: “I hope you feel sick and awful”.. “I never even wanted to make a bet in the first place.. I hate you”
Joel: “Hehehehehhe”
*Photo coming as soon as I get my camera and come back*
Joel: “What is your IQ? What is your GPA?”
Lia: “IQ tests are not accurate and it doesn’t matter anyways. 3.82 in the honors program double majoring in Poli Sci and English.”
Joel: “No wonder you’re a fifth year senior… double major and a year abroad.”
Joel: “I’m full but I still feel thirsty.”
Lia: ” Want some milk?”
Joel: “Uggghh”
Lia: TICKLE JOEL
Joel: “Your boobs are going on my website! hahha”
Lia: “Uggggh”
Joel: “How many times have you been drunk in your life?”
Lia: “I haven’t counted.”
Joel: “What is your favorite movie on Youtube, since you’ve seen all of them?”
Lia: “There’s a movie of a cat.. a home movie.. and the guy makes a loud noise and the cat levitates up off the bed and shoots out and splats into the wall with it’s legs out and crashes. But I’m bad about favorites, I usually don’t have one. I have lots of thinigs I like in different genres, but not favorites. It’s kind of like the question ‘is shylock a victim or a villain?’ ”
Joel: ” … Who’s Shylock?”
Lia: Giggles in a judgemental way.
Lia: “Shylock is a Shakespeare character from the Merchant of Venice who is treated very badly, but is also a bad man. It’s a tragi-comedy.”
Lia: “Blah… blah blah blah”
Lia: “… You’re not writing this whole thing down are you?”
Joel: “No”
Lia: “Oh great. You’re just writing down the stuff that makes me look stupid.”
Joel: “No, I am trying to engage my audience first and then they can get to know the deeper Lia.”
Lia: “They wouldn’t like the real Lia?”
Joel: “Nope.”
Lia: “Misplaced modifiers are really funny.”
Joel: “How did you motivate yourself for the triathlon last week?”
Lia: “I’m a good swimmer, so I thought I could do it if I could get myself to run.. I can bike, but I don’t like running. A secondary, more personal motivation for me was talking to the mother of my friend who died and she wanted me to live my life in a better way, being inspired by Natalie’s memory. I really also feel like not being involved in competitive swimming anymore, it’s good to have fitness goals. So I had a goal to train for and work towards and it was helpful because I didn’t feel a lot of pressure to win. I let go of my fear of losing and pride, and just did my own thing. A great experience, although it did weaken my immune system for the mono to set in. I am a badass because I did a triathlon with mono haha.”
Joel: “It’s a good thing to have fitness goals. Congratulations.”
Lia: “I’m fading. (She currently has mono and tonsillitis)”
Joel: Okay, we can continue this later.
Lia: “No, I’m perking up a little bit. I can feel my half a vicodin kicking in.”
Joel: “Ok…”
Joel: “Double or nothing on the milk?”
Lia: “No.. no more gambling today.. I already lost enough.”
Joel: “If both Dan and Trevor (2 of her sorta ex-bf’s because they both moved away and not because anything “ended” perse) came here and propositioned you, which one would you pick?”
Lia: “Dan was always going to be a short-term relationship, he was a bit younger (18) and he’s about a year and a half younger. Dan and I were really compatible when we were with each other, but when he was with his friends he was really immature and it annoyed me. Trevor is about a year older and I know him really, really well. We dated for about two years and there is just stuff you know about people when you have been that close. He also is not quite so unrealistic.. Dan worshipped me, but Trevor had a more realistic view… I don’t think any person is worth the kind of attention Dan was giving me. I think it was really high intensity and it wouldn’t have lasted. So if I had to pick someone it would probably be Trevor.”
Joel: “What is a question that would incise into your soul?”
Lia: “Ask me how I feel about lying?”
Joel: “How do you feel about lying?”
Lia: “I think I’m more honest about lying than most people.. if you can say that. It’s not possible to be perfect. There are times when I do things and I think I should feel guilty, but I don’t. People would disagree with the way I think about things. Though I have really contradictory standards… I both lie and I’m honest about lying. The least healthy people are those who claim to not lie. That is why religion can be so bad- people don’t take responsibility for themselves, they make excuses. You live a much less fulfilling life if you can’t be accountable for yourself. My biggest strength is Intrapersonal intelligence; I know what is going on inside of me. ”
Joel: “I don’t feel guilty when I kill.”
Joel: “Did you ever play video or computer games?”
Lia: “Actually, yes. I once played Age of Empires 2 and I enjoyed it for the time I did. I am very self-conscious about playing video games because I wasn’t raised on it and people have a hard time teaching me about it because I have never even handled a controller. It is incredibly frustrating and I have even cried. The biggest fight Trevor and I have ever had were when we played the Band of Brothers game. I never quite forgave him for it. Though that isn’t what it was really about… it was because problems had built and built and the fight was more about the way we interacted and communication issues than his inability to teach me a video game lol.”
Lia: “Do you know that Led Zeppellin song “Communication Breakdown”? hahaha… I am amused at the lead singer when he isn’t singing, he doesn’t play the guitar, so he just stands there looking very awkward.”
Joel: ” Would you have sex with Ian McKellen? (The famous Shakespeare actor)”
Lia: “No, he’s gay.”
Joel: “What if he was straight?”
Lia: “Then yes, if he was a lot younger.”