I went to Ikea over the weekend with Melanie and she helped me select a new table for my apartment (though I violated her advice and purchased Ikea art because it was cheap). I decided to take a break from my slave labor station (see picture below) to put together my table and clean up my apartment.… read more “Joel Upgrades the Batcave”
My humorous friends have decided to throw a “sausage party”. Here is the invite lol.
It’s fall. The air is crispy, the leaves are changing color, and the PCC is lining its shelves with pumpkin ale. This means:
It’s time to have a Sausage Fest!
This Friday, October 12, at 8pm, Ben, Ash and I will be serving up sausage (veggie ones too, though I find the notion blasphemous), beer, fried potatoes, sauerkraut, and anything else we can come up with.… read more “Awesome! SAUSAGE FEST!”
-a virus. When you have it, you pass it to those around you.
-reading an excellent book while eating popcorn slathered in cock sauce and johnny’s salad elegance.
-not easily discovered in oneself, and not found at all elsewhere.
-not to be found on the summit; instead it is found on the journey.
-not having to commute.… read more “Happiness is…”
If you say the first part, you mean the second… so if you say “I walked the dog” it means “I masturbated furiously”.
“The trees are watching me” means “The Iranian secret police followed me home”
“I found a cherry tree” means “I had sex with a hairy Persian virgin”
“A stick poked me” means “I am now involved in the underground gay scene”
“Allah save us all” means “The government is torturing me for my crimes”
“A bounty of joy has come from my conversion to Islam” means “I am laundering cash”
“A bone fell from the sky” means “I went to a wedding and took home three Persian virgins and made sweet love to them for a solid week.… read more “Friend in Iran: Secret Code”